Fresh Wounds
by xAriesx
Summary: Even after so many months of Amon's disappearance, Korra can't seem to get quite a grip on reality. So, she seeks other ways to deal with her anxiety... And soon enough, she's dancing with Amon in the middle of a battlefield called her mind, playing a game that only she can lose. (Trigger Warning!)
1. The Enemy

Even months later, Korra was unsure as to why violent dreams of Amon never ceased.

She was unsure as to why whenever she closed her eyes, she was met with eyes that adhered the same determination that was dangerously close to her own.

Unsure as to why even when in Mako's arms, she had horrid nightmares that left her exhausted in the morning, and Mako with wounds in his arm from her nails digging into him.

She kept telling herself it was all in her head… Amon was gone.

Amon was gone…

Amon was gone…

Right?

" _ **Look at your cuts,**_

 _ **Or your burns.**_

 _ **Or those bruises you gave yourself.**_

 _ **Each one, is a battle with yourself**_

 _ **That you lost"**_

 ***So before anyone flames me for not updating any of my stories; no, I am not done with them. And don't worry about no updates for this story, because it has been pre-written. This story will delve deep into PTSD, self-destructive behavior, eating disorders and life threatening behavior. This is just a warning for anyone out there.**

 **This story takes place a few months after Amon has disappeared. Mako and Korra are together, and plan to stay that way.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **JUST A REMINDER: THIS STORY IS PRE-WRITTEN, BECAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING KEEP UP WITH ANY OF MY OTHER STORIES, I SHOULD AT LEAST MAKE A PROMISE I CAN KEEP WITH THIS ONE**.

 _Basic overview; This takes place around a month after Amon has 'disappeared'. This chapter shows readers the intense fear and post-traumatic stress Korra had gone through after facing Amon. This opening chapters grasps the same fears Korra encountered all the way back to episode four, season one. Except, these emotions are advanced. And force her to find ways of… coping with the undenying stress that Amon is not quite gone. Much more to come! Except a new chapter every Sunday; I have so graciously posted this opening chapter and the first chapter together to hold your hunger down while you wait for next Sunday!_

 _Read on!_


	2. The Beginnings

**(SORRY EVERYONE FOR THE REPOST!)**

 **.**

 **.**

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Mako was used to being everyone's rock. Somebody's crutch, for when they couldn't deal with problems in their life efficiently. He learned to be good at it, also. Most of his practice stemmed from right after his and Bolin's parents died. He had to be there for Bolin the most. It was no longer the typical, "Mako stole my stuffed spider-monkey!"

They were then faced with actual problems, like how to not freeze-to-death when the two young brother were faced with Republic City's harsh and unforgiving Winter, or how to not starve-to-death. Mako had no experience in solving these situations, however facing them head-on was often the only thing he could do, so he did. And his brother and him got out of it, so what _couldn't_ be solved by tackling the issue head-on?

He could tell you one thing instantly; Korra's new issues.

Korra was extremely stubborn at heart, which was exactly one reason why Korra would not tell you what is wrong, even if she were _dying._

If you head-butted Korra's new issue, she would head-butt you back with double the force, followed by the word, "Nothing."

Mako couldn't lie, their relationship starting off right after Amon's 'disappearance' was not smart. However, eager teenagers jumping into a relationship is not something that can be stopped. Teenagers will do what teenagers do best, which is make terrible life decisions and spouting how it was the best idea of their life. Mako was certainly no adult, but he could definitely spot patterns in the mysterious and complicated teenage brain. It was almost as easy as spotting yellow daffodil from a crimson red rose.

Mako quickly picked up on Korra's habits. He knew what times she usually got up in the night to use the restroom. He picked up on the negative habit of her always biting on the inside of her cheek, usually to the point where it went from soft, tenders flesh to a torn-up, bleeding mess.

Another thing he noticed was during the night, while they were laying in her bed, her nails always seemed to sneak their way up to her head, and they would start ruthlessly scratching at her scalp. Make would wake in the morning, only to look down at her scalp and find blood, along with dandruff piles, and scabs forming.

 _ **-Flashback-**_

" _Why do you do that?" Mako asked one day, as they were walking through Republic city._

 _Korra stopped snacking on her inner cheek, and looked at Mako with confusion, "Do what?"_

 _Mako never commented on why she seemed exceptionally nervous, turning her head every few seconds every which way her neck could turn without breaking. Mako guessed though that if she could turn her neck all the way around so she could look behind her, she would._

" _That-that cheek-biting thing. You do it a lot now, never seen you do it before."_

 _Korra didn't answer for a while, just looking in front of her. Her face expressionless. "I… Just do it once in a while. It's just something I picked up from my childhood. No big deal."_

 _To Mako, it sounded more like she was convincing herself of something._

" _Seems like a pretty big deal to me that you are making yourself bleed…"_

" _Just drop it." She said bitterly, quickening her pace, leaving him behind._

 _Oh, if only he knew how little blood that was, he would of taken it anyday over what has become of her…._

 _-End of Flashback-_

Mako dropped the entire subject after that incident. He convinced himself, as well as Korra convinced herself, that she was fine. She was already stressed enough anyways, no need to pester the _life_ out of her.

It's okay… She was going to be alright…

" _ **So now I cut these loveless wrists.**_

 _ **My head sure hurts today.**_

 _ **I'll take another twenty pills and try to make my troubles go away."**_

She was alright, she already knew that. Really, who knew her better than she knew herself.

She was up early again this morning, but this time it was not nightmares that awoke her. More like the emptiness that she felt inside. It was gnawing at her left side painfully, but she knew that the problem rooted deeper than her biological response to eat.

" _I am really hungry."_ Something in her head whined.

" _Shut up."_ She hushed it.

" _We don't do_ _ **that**_ _anymore."_

Mako's arm coiled even tighter around Korra's waist, sending off even more pains in her stomach. She stifled a groan, shifting so she wasn't going to be suffocated by Mako's grip.

She kept it a secret for a few weeks. The not-eating. For right now, it was quite easy to avoid swallowing food. Nibble a molecule of rice here and there, swish and mix some food around, announce you were full, and stress about the next meal. An endless cycle that Korra morbidly enjoyed.

It has actually become a game to her. See how much food she could avoid eating. Whenever she got down to the target, she would revel in her small victory, then create a new goal.

She went from six meals a week, to four. From four to three, and now she was working on from three to two.

The first few weeks, she got by scott-free without a problem. Then, people started to ask questions.

"Are you full?"

"You haven't eaten a lot, though."

"You used to have such a big appetite!"

(That one was casually interjected into the conversation, always by Pema.)

Korra couldn't blame them, they had no way of telling…

Wait… Telling of what?

" _ **All that's left will be, Your bones.**_

 _ **No flesh, no warmth, nothing to love.**_

 _ **And still,**_

 _ **Those dreaded souls will say,**_

' _ **Just not thin enough'"**_

Korra was confronted with the issue, a few weeks later when everything sat down at the table to eat. She rested her head on her knuckles, giving the full lean on her arm. She felt exhausted the last couple of days, so her arm right now was her stable from rolling right over on to the floor.

She picked up the chopsticks with disinterest, moving some food around and mixing it up.

' _Please eat.'_

' _No.'_

"Korra…"

She responded to her name, looking up only to see the whole table looking back at her. The voice was soft and sweet, and she turned her head to Asami.

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you going to eat?" She asked, and Korra could almost burn a hole through her head for making the subject come up.

Her weight shifted, and her arm came down from the table down to her thigh, and started lightly rubbing. It was something, along with other things she did while in a stressful situation… That is, if the option were available. The option was available now, so she did it freely.

"Uh, you know, I just ate a few hours ago so… Uhm, I'm not really hungry." She forced a laugh out during her sentence, and it was so surreal that she thought even the spirits would of believed it.

"But you have been saying that for weeks!" Ikki exclaimed, slamming her hands a little to hard on the wooden table, and challenging Korra by staring at her.

Korra won the challenge in a mere few seconds, as they both did a stare down. Ikki sunk back down, and disappeared into the shadows that outlined the room.

"Look guys, I am fine, really. It's nothing to worry about, I have been eating."

Mako knew what was really going on, and in the back of her mind, Mako was the last person she wanted to start talking. However, this world does not revolve around what she thinks.

"If that's the truth, then take a bite." Mako said, turning to his girlfriend, who had pure fire burning in her eyes.

He was no longer fazed by this type of Korra, so he accepted the challenge.

"I told you, I'm not hungry." She said, trying to have the final word.

Mako was not going to give in.

He shrugged, "One bite won't _hurt._ "

Korra hoped he knew that by the time they got back to her room, he should have his funeral planned out.

Korra looked around the table out of the corner of her eye, seeing everyone weighing in. She felt trapped, like those spider-monkeys you would see at the zoo. Desperately trying to escape the place, but not being able to have a way to do so. Having all the freedom in the world to walk where you were allowed to walk, but forbidden to step foot out of the place.

Trapped.

Korra quickly weighed her options, and decided, against her will, to take a bite.

She turned away from Mako, looking down at the thing that she has been avoiding for weeks.

She felt panic bubble up inside her, and it kept rising with each passing second. Her heart was beating so fast, it hurt. Her hands began to sweat like crazy, and she was unsure when she started to have blotched vision, dark circles appearing all over.

She found a good sized piece of food. She opened her mouth, and inch by inch, (at least to her), waited for the food to enter her mouth.

The food touched her tongue only slightly, and she still wanted to jerk away. The food was then left in her mouth, free for her to chew… To enjoy… To swallow.

 _Chew_

 _Chew_

 _Chew_

 _Chew_

 _Chew_

 _Chew_

 _Chew_

 _And… Swallow._

Although the food had some kind of foreign, sticky-sweet sauce on it, it didn't make the bite and the moment any less bitter.

She felt the food go down her esophagus, and she absolutely hated it.

She slammed down the napkin she was squeezing onto the table, "There. Since everyone is so interested in how much I eat, there ya go."

She put bitter emphasize on 'so'.

The air seemed to relax almost instantly, as though everyone in the room has been holding their breaths, and just now released the air held up inside.

Everyone continued their dinner ritual, the air bender children dropping unwanted vegetables onto the other siblings plate, Pema and Tenzin talking about politics, something Pema seemed the least interested in at the moment since she was calming down an upset Rohun in her arms.

Bolin was getting a little flirty with the Asami at his side.

Korra wanted to breakdown right there. She wanted to cry, so badly. She held the tears back, held the pain back the food caused now.

The food was doing… _this_ to her. She felt sick to her stomach, and pushed the plate away.

She felt anxiety-ridden, deep in her heart, and it only made the moment even more painful.

She jumped slightly when something nice, something… Warm grabbed her hand under the table. Its five, long extended digits wrapped around her own fingers, and it gave her a squeeze.

Although the gesture was supposed to be comforting, it only raised Korra's anxiety.

' _What does he know?'_

" _ **It doesn't take self motivation to get thin, but instead self hate. Nothing good ever comes from hate."**_

Bolin was up late that night, not because he was _not_ tired, or he couldn't sleep. Rather something felt… Wrong.

He thought he knew the source of his alarming discomfort, however he didn't want to accept his suspicions.

He jumped at a voice that came behind him, to the right.

"You can't sleep either?" Asami's soothe voice quickly calmed him down.

Bolin looked behind him, finding Asami standing in her silk robe, leaning against the door frame. Her hair fell freely around her face,casting and eerie shadow over the left half of her face.

"I probably could, but I am not up for that at the moment…"

He heard weight being shifted, and Asamis figure came closer, sitting on the opposite side of the couch.

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

Bolin was the first to break the silence. "It's been a tough couple of months, huh?"

Asami quickly looked at him, then looked down at the floor. He saw a sad smile paint its way across her face.

"Yeah, it has."

"Does it still hurt?" She asked, her eyes casting down into something farther than the floor.

"What? What does what still hurt?" He asked,turning to her. His brows were knitted together in worry. It almost looked like he had a glint of small panic in his eyes.

She spoke without turning, "To remember what life was like before your parents died. To wonder if they stayed… around, what life would be like?"

Bolin swallowed hard, reliving the traumatic moment. "I mean, yeah. All the time. I just- can't think about it often. After a while, it's tiring, and gets a little bit tedious."

"I just can't help to think - what maybe could I have done differently. Maybe my dad wouldn't such a crazed lunatic- if maybe I were to do something differently?"

Bolin swallowed- again. Although he was a thousand times more smooth at emotional-talk than his stick-in-the-ass brother, delving extremely deep into _feelings_ and _emotions_ was not his strong suite.

"I'm pretty sure _anyone_ who has lost someone close feels that way. I know I did. I know Mako did, even if he never admitted it."

Bolin noticed that the cold draft in the room was not the only thing that made the room eerily chilly.

Asami seemed distant, looking farther into a place he could not see.

Without warning, Asami scooter over to home and threw her arms around him.

"Thanks. Just needed someone to talk to."

Bolin knew there was more to be said, but right now was not the time.

"No problem."

As they pulled away, Bolin could see a spark as she looked deep into his eyes. He wanted to reach inside her, and touch her soul. Just to understand what was still on her mind.

"Goodnight." She got up, her silk robe swinging as she walked away.

"Goodnight."

" _ **When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas conquered long ago." ~Fredrick Nietzshe**_

 _Okay, what I think is that I made it TOO easy for Mako to realise what Korra is going through. But hey, I was trying to make it that stereotypical "I know what is wrong with you. because I love you so much and I know you."_

 _You know, add some fluff in the midst of this pretty depressing story. Did I succeed? Probably not._

 _ **Criticize away in the reviews, please!**_


	3. The Game

" _ **Imagine if we obsessed about the things we loved about ourselves."**_

Water, water all around.

Flowing down her body, which has now became here enemy.

So she thought.

The true enemy was on top of her shoulders, being supported by her neck.

It's a bit crazy how even our own bodies, our own minds can be against us, isn't it?

It's truly crazy how your own mind can be working against you, to help you kill yourself.

Your mind can be trying to kill you, yet your body is struggling to remain alive.

It's a little bit twisted, a little bit contradictory, isn't it?

Funny, how you could be trying to kill yourself, yet trying to remain alive at the same time.

Except, it's not about trying to _live._ Rather, it's about _surviving._

Korra stepped out of the shower, bending the water off of her sick body, directing it down the drain.

She went over to the mirror, and caught a glimpse of her body, as she took off the towel that seemed to stick to her body very well.

She let the fluffy towel drop to the ground.

She wasn't happy about the results that she is seeing.

She turned, looking at her stomach. It was flat, it always has been. But that wasn't the point.

The point was that she hasn't lost any weight.

You see, in the beginning, this _was_ a game. It bad simple guidelines to follow.

 _Rule 1: Eat as little as you can._

 _Rule 2: You eat more than the day before, you lose._

Yes, it was very much a game in the beginning. A dangerous one, but nevertheless it was _something._ _Something_ that kept her mind off of Amon.

"Amon?" You may ask.

Yes, Amon.

The man who still haunts her dreams.

The man who took away her bending. She got it back, but that wasn't the point.

The man who was never _actually_ captured.

 _Never_ sentenced

 _Never_ put in jail.

 _Never_ found.

But now, it wasn't _just about_ keeping herself awake in the real world, now it has actually made Korra think of her body in a different way…

 _You see, that's how eating disorders develop. They think 'It's only this…', or 'Just this one time…', when really they are using it as a coverup… To mask the fact there is a real problem..._

Korra turned back to face herself again in the mirror. She hasn't lost much weight, to her surprise. She didn't like that.

'How much did I eat yesterday? Maybe a couple bites of food?'

She shuttered.

Even _thinking_ of the word food made her disgusted.

She planned out her intake of food for the day whilst she inspected her body.

She started with her face. Her face still looked pretty full and filled out.

She moved down.

Usually, she would have to make a certain position in order for her collar bones to stick out.

Not anymore. She saw her collar bones sticking out, plain as day. She traced her fingertips over them, feeling a prickle of pride coarse through her at the fact you didn't have to struggle to see her collarbones.

She moved on. Her breasts have definitely decreased in size. However, that part did not matter as much. Her bindings still fit her, and she was actually kind of proud they decreased in size. They were only fat, attached to her chest.

Her waist has got smaller, which meant her hips were also coming in a bit.

Her stomach was practically flat, except for the fact that on her lower stomach you could see a bump. She knew that was only due to her uterus slightly sticking out, however she wanted it gone.

"Not good enough." She growled.

 _Another sign of an eating disorder. You see, in the eyes of someone with an eating disorder, nothing will ever be perfect. They will always have to strive for a lower weight. A weight number will never be down to their standards, until they become weightless, and can allow the wind to carry them elsewhere..._

Although she wasn't tall enough to see her thighs in the mirror, she could still critique them. She sat down on the edge of the tub, looking down at her thighs.

Before, they would rub together. Although they still do rub together, it was only the very inside of her thigh.

Pride struck through her.

Still, not good enough.

" _ **Body love is about self worth in general.**_

 _ **It's more than our physical appearance."**_

 _And that's what is exactly going on with Korra._

 _You see, in her poor, lost mind, she might not realize it yet, but her self-esteem, and her worth is incredibly low._

 _She let Amon get away, simply put in her mind._

 _She let an enemy get away. A dangerous enemy._

 _This made her a horrible Avatar._

 _What could a safe world be, without an Avatar to secure, and protect its people?_

 _She was a horrible Avatar._

 _The worst._

 _Definitely a worthless Avatar._

 _Therefore, she did not deserve to eat._

" **I'm a failure.",**

" **Ofcourse not. Didn't you get the memo from the White Lotus? I'm a spiritual failure too."**

 _She never knew such words would lead to this._

She wrapped the towel around her once again, and stepped out of the bathroom, feeling a cold breeze sweep over her body.

She looked up to find Mako sitting on bed.

"Oh!" She quickly backed up back into the threshold of the bathroom, closing the door, leaving only room for her head to poke out.

"Oh-uhm- sorry. Thought you would get dressed in the bathroom."

She heard the bed give a sigh as he stood up from it, seemingly trying to get out of the room as fast as possible.

"No, uhm, it's okay. You can stay, I just need my clothes."

Mako stopped his rush, but didn't get the memo.

"I need you to hand me my clothes." She simply stated, leaning against the wall.

"Oh, yeah, right. Sure. I just wasn't sure if…" His voice trailed off, and he got the clean outfit that was lying on her bed.

Korra gave him a quick smile as they exchanged the clothes, then shut the door behind her.

" _ **Eating disorders are like a gun that's formed by genetics, loaded by culture and family ideals, and triggered by unbearable stress." ~Aimee Lou**_

Mako has seen the thing that Korra is going through before.

He can recollect, over several occasions, Bolin picking up some girls. They looked too skinny most of the time to ever be able to live.

He couldn't put all the idiocy on his brother, Mako had to admit he picked up some chicks too, in the very beginning of his and Bolin's Pro-bending careers.

Of course, what fifteen-year-old boy would NOT take the chance to get laid by a couple of fans?

He remembers one girl in particular. He was around fifteen. Him and Bolin, along with their teammate had one the quarter-final match. They had all went out for a 'celebration dinner' together.

As the three of them were walking, one girl tagged along Mako's side.

 _-Flashback-_

" _Hey there."_

 _A friendly voice said, extremely close to Mako. He turned around, locating another teenager by them. Mako thought she was attractive, having nice, brown hair that flowed down her shoulders with a wave. The two front pieces of her hair were pinned back in a swirl, with the exception of a little piece falling over her eye, making her even more attractive in Mako's young mind._

 _Her skin, although noticeably natively white, had a nice, uninterrupted tan that continued all around her body._

" _Hi." Bolin's voice squeaked. He was in the onset of puberty, making his voice inconsistent._

 _The teen gazed around Mako's shoulder, giving Bolin a slight smile._

" _My name's Iris."_

 _She now was giving Mako and Bolin equal attention, and it was only at that moment that their third party teammate disappeared._

' _Damn him.'_

" _Hey Iris. My name's Mako, and that's-" he was suddenly cut off,_

" _I know who you two are, silly. I just watched your guy's match. You both did pretty well out there." She complimented._

 _Her voice was noticeably sweet and innocent, though Mako was not having such innocent thoughts._

" _Thanks. We were just heading out to celebrate our win. Wanna join us for dinner?"_

" _Oh, sure. That would be awesome."_

 _-End of Flashback-_

Mako recounted that they had all went to dinner, later finding that their teammate who disappeared went early to get a table for them all.

- _Flashback-_

 _Iris was talking. What she was talking about, Mako could not say. He was more thinking of all the things he would like to do-_

" _Hello? Are you there?" Bolin waved his hand in front of his brothers face._

 _Mako annoyingly smacked his brothers hand down, earning him an "Ow."_

" _What?"_

" _I said, how do you feel about the semi-finals?" Iris asked, picking up her glass of water._

" _Oh. Well, I mean I think-" his sentence ended abruptly as he felt a hand touch his groin._

 _He stuttered, looking over at Iris, who 'looked busy' drinking her water. He gulped,_

" _we'll do well. We have a pretty good guy on the team."_

" _That's good." Iris said, giving a pretty aggressive nod as she continued to take intense interest in her water._

 _The grip got even tighter around his 'oh'_ area. It was suddenly released as the bouncy waitress came near the table, quickly sliding everyone's meals on the table, and rushing off to the next table she was attending to.

 _Even Mako, in his sexually frustrated mind, could still pick out small details._

 _He noticed every time he looked back at Iris, none of her food has been placed directly to her mouth. More as, she has been mixing food, and pretend to finally dig a bite out of her food, only minutes later to let the food drop back to the plate, and repeat the cycle._

 _He never said anything about it._

 _They packaged up the food, and left the restaurant._

" _I don't have to go back home for a while." Iris stated in response, as young Bolin marveled at how her parents set her curfew for this late._

" _Wanna come back to our place?" Mako asked. It was almost as if his brain cells died off, and testosterone pumped into his bloodstream at a rapid rate, remembering on the 'incident' from earlier._

" _Sure."_

 _-End of Flashback-_

Mako really wishes now that he wasn't subjected to the horrors of being sexually turned on.

He remembers now, to his dismay, that he let Bolin and their teammate go off somewhere else. He realized now someone should of batted his head right there and then, at least to knock some common sense back into him, especially with crooked gangs started to become the popular thing around then.

However, he just wanted to get rid of his younger party, while he figured out where this was going.

Not his proudest moment, but his suspicions were true. Iris did do him a favor, getting down on her knees.

She took off her shirt, and to Mako's intense curiosity, he saw almost _nothing._ Literally, she was all skin and bones.

Mako first knew when he saw her, she was very petite. But now, he was at dismay as he saw every single one of her ribs sticking out.

They were so intensely sharp, almost cutting through her paper-sheer skin.

Her arms, as she took off her long-sleeved shirt, was so scarcely skinny.

Her shoulder bones were also insanely sharp, poking out so much from her skin that it would look like it would hurt.

However, Mako, in his stupidity, didn't care about _that_ at the time.

Only thing Mako could think about was how _good_ it felt, and how she was so gracious offering her services.

Somewhere during this, Mako looked down at her face, and seeing… Something in her eyes.

Was it guilt?

Shame?

Disgust?

He didn't care, because he shut his eyes and cursed and he came in her mouth, enjoying the experience immensely.

Mako later connected the dots. She didn't even eat in the first place. She was probably offering these services to, he guessed, boost her self esteem, because she didn't have much in the first place.

She wanted for people to look at her body, and look at as though they wanted it. She wanted to be accepted. She _wanted_ to be _wanted_ by someone, to know she was _alive._

Mako and Iris did keep in contact for a while, but soon after she disappeared.

Mako never saw her again.

" _ **No food will ever hurt you as much as an unhealthy mind."**_

Korra's body inspection became a daily ritual. It was imbedded as much into her head as much as it was into her day.

Wake.

Strip from clothes.

Take a shower, feeling every crevice of skin she possibly can. Maybe, she does this to find where she is bursting at the seams, so she can finally be freed of her heavy skin. And be free from the burden.

Hop in front of mirror, for _at least_ twenty minutes.

Check breast size.

Check how many ribs she can count if she holds her breath, then how many she can count when she breathes normally.

Check how bony her shoulders have become.

Sit down, pick at the fat that still sticks to her thighs.

Run her hands through her hair one last time before exiting the restroom.

 _Ouch_

She feels the scab that covers the wound on her scalp. It's her sweet spot.

Pick off the scab, throw it away.

Watch the blood appear.

 _Oh wait, can't forget to brush teeth._

 _Ouch, the sharp bristles irritate the chewed wounds on the inside of her cheek._

 _Spit, and see blood. Wash it down the sink._

 _Who cares?_

These rituals occur twice a day. Once in the morning, and once in the evening as she prepares for bed.

She remembers one night in particular, as she lay down in bed next her Mako. She made herself comfy under the sheets, close to the warmth of his body, which radiated on her like the sun in the daytime.

"Goodnight."

Korra looked up at Mako. She could see a thousand questions in his eyes.

' _Why is this happening?'_

' _Why are you doing this to yourself?'_

She ignored his silent questions, and looked him straight in the eyes, smiling a broken smile she has worn everyday for the past few weeks.

"Goodnight."

.

Korra woke up that morning, doing as she always does. Bathe, critique, put on a smile, walk to the dining room anxiety-ridden.

This morning, everyone was at the dining room at the same time. She blinked as she walked in at the chaos. She went and steadily sat down by Mako.

The room suddenly went quiet.

Now that Korra knew all the attention was officially directed at her, her nervousness forces her to take a sweet roll. She grabbed a couple of bright red berries, dropping them on her plate.

She could tell through her peripheral vision that everyone would take a quick glance up from their food, to see Korra's progression.

"Why is everybody quiet?" Ikki's voice broke the silence.

"Nothing sweetheart. Finish your breakfast."

Pema said, pointing her chopsticks at her daughters plate.

Ikki's excitement sunk as she drooped, looking back at her plate of food.

Korra thought the awkward moment was over with, but of course her older and 'wiser' teacher had to make _some sort of_ comment.

"Korra, aren't you going to eat breakfast." Tenzin said, in a business-like tone, as usual.

All eyes turned on her, even Jinora, who was usually consumed in her book at any meal.

' _I could literally kill this man right now. I swear to the spirits, if there wasn't seven witnesses around, you would of been dead by now.'_

"Oh-just-uhm- not hungry, really, right now."

"But you _never_ are hungry anymore." Ikki interjected.

She slammed her tiny hands down on the table,

"Daddy, why isn't Korra eating. Is there something wrong? Is she _nervous_ because she is dating Makoooooo. Daddy, is she sick? Oh wait! I know-"

Korra's cheeks became painted with a deep shade of red, which stood noticeably out against her mocha-like-skin.

"Okay Ikki, that's enough. Children, go wash up. We have things to do today. Right now, up up up." Pema got up, ushering her children out of the room, and sitting back down.

Tenzin gathered his patience once again after Ikki ran it thin with her dubious suspicions and questions.

He looked back at Korra, and extended his arm out to show her all of the food.

"Korra, eat. There's plenty of food."

"Leave me alone. I'll do what I want." Korra snapped harshly back.

Her tone didn't leave the bite she thought it would. Everyone was still staring at her out of the corner of their eyes.

She shakily ripped off a piece of her sweet roll, putting it in her mouth.

She immediately tasted intense sugar.

Sugar meant carbs, or fat, or whatever it really contained.

It didn't matter, food was bad.

Her first instinct was to spit it out on her plate, and get the plate of food as far away from her as she could.

' _Nonononono. Spit it out. Spit it out now!'_ Her mind screamed at her.

' _Please swallow. I'm hungry.'_

' _Hungry means you're strong again, that you can handle pain. You're not a weak avatar, if you're hungry. You're a strong avatar. Spit it out. Pain means you're alive. You need pain.'_

' _If you don't eat, that means you die.'_

' _At Least that means I was living in the first place.'_

' _Does it?'_

" _ **You know what truly aches? Having so much pain inside of you and not having the slightest clue of how to pour it out." ~Karen Quan**_

 _ **Alright, look, I admit all those quotes are off of Google images. Y'all caught me. (Some, may be off tumblr, but that's not the point.) But hey, that poem (you could call it), at the beginning was what I WROTE. Can you believe it? I contributed meaningfully.**_

 _ **Anyway, hope everyone enjoys!**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

 _Basic overview; So, this little 'game' Korra had conceived had started out as a true test of her strength. Take Amon up, at least for one more fight. Prove to herself, others around her, and mostly Amon that she could beat him. Due to this 'game', her eating disorder quickly becomes true over this chapter, and progresses quickly into a real problem. I believe this is so Korra-like, wanting to jump into things. Let's do the action now, addressing the consequences later. Which, is why I believed her eating disorder would develop rapidly, flowing into other problems. The children were shown thoroughly through this chapter. It is meant to be an innocent pair of eyes on Korra, and the quite disturbing things she was doing. It was sort of meant to be a barrier for Korra to stop and think about what she was doing. However, as we all know, Korra will do what she want, when she wants it. So, the children seeing her actions didn't make her stop and rethink anything. If there is anything else to delve more into, I'll leave you to your own devices._

 _Every time you DON'T leave a review, a fish dies from drowning._

 _So leave a review._


	4. The Binge

" _ **She cuts herself. Never too deep, never enough to die. But enough to feel the pain. Enough to feel the scream inside."**_

 _ **~Unknown**_

Korra could feel the panic attacks come on every meal.

She knew people didn't exactly believe her when she told them it was nothing. Nothing's wrong, not feeling hungry. My stomach hurts, or I ate earlier.

So, she was always the star at the table every meal. Most eyes on her plate. Everyone counting how many bites she took. Meal size to body size ratio.

She would also count how many bites she took. However, she took it a step further and counted how many calories could be in that bite. How many carbs? How creamy it tastes.

(Because if there is even the slightest bit amount of butter or other fatty sauce on a vegetable, or on a bread roll, that was a huge **STOP** sign.)

Sweaty hands, she shakily fed her mouth a bite. Dragged out another bite as long as she could, until everyone's eyes was back on her plate.

Counted how many times she chewed. Less chews would equal less food, which was good. More chews would equal a loss.

Oh, how she took joy in chewing less times than the last bite.

She felt the food go down, but at one point it had stopped.

She started coughing. She felt her heart rate pick up it's (already slow) pace.

She reaches for a napkin, finally the bite coming back up into the napkin.

Korra took a few deep breaths, and looked around the table as the several sets of eyes peered at her.

"Are you okay?" Bolin asked. Korra normally heard his smooth, funny-guy voice all the time. This time, however, his voice sounded genuinely worried.

Like that one time when Korra was crying at the edge of the cliff. At the time, she was so frustrated. With basically everything. Even a little bit scared, but no one needed to know that part.

He even said the same words.

" _ **Are you okay?"**_

 _ **She blinked, hoping her eyes would soak back the tears that she didn't have enough time to wipe away.**_

" _ **Yeah, I'm fine."**_

"Yeah, I'm fine." Korra said, setting the grossley napkin with chewed food in it down on the table. She didn't let it go.

"I just, swallowed wrong, Is all." She looked at Bolin, nodding. She then gave a quick sweep over the rest of the table, eyes glued to her as if they couldn't get enough of the scene.

She returned to looking down at her food, and to her relief, everyone returned back to their meals.

The children, fighting a battle with Pema over if they have to eat _all_ of their vegetables.

Tenzin, as always nowadays, giving brief glances at Korra.

Bolin and Asami feeding each other food, (Was there something going on between them?)

Mako always soaking up the scene with his ears rather than his eyes. Being in a shady place all those years with Bolin had easily shown him that you can't trust your eyes at three in the morning when an ambush was taking place. Or, you can't use your eyes to listen-in on a deal taking place at midnight.

Mako learned from then on to always use his ears to his advantage.

Although his eyes wandered to Korra's plate every now and then, he _listened_ to Korra. Paying attention to how many times he heard her chopsticks drop to her plate.

Listening to her chew her food, and to his surprise, he could hear her swallow.

Korra swallowing food was loud, and sounded painful as if it were large bite, even though she picked up the smallest pieces of food she could.

All the mixing of food she did was nauseating. _Literally._

The three main concepts of the dish would be mixed together into a huge mess, yet Korra still took bites. Her plate most of the time didn't even look appetizing.

However, as long as she was eating, Mako didn't exactly care how it got into her body.

 _ **One of the worst things you can say to someone with Dermatillomania is to "Just Stop".**_

Korra often found herself scratching her scalp.

It wasn't that it was itchy. Oh no, it wasn't that. It was a repetitive reflex that she had suddenly been accustomed to.

Sometimes, there was no reason for her to begin a scratching session at that _one spot_ on her scalp.

Other times, it was almost as if a magnet drew her fingers back to the spot on her scalp in which she prayed on the most.

Often, when she woke up from the frequent nightmares, her finger nails would dig into her scalp painfully, scratching until pus would wetten the wound. Next, if she hadn't ignored that, would continue to scratch until blood would ooze from the wound.

At that point, her anxiety had been calmed, and she has been fulfilled once again.

She woke up the next morning, only to look into the mirror and find dried blood in her hair, and a painful, raw spot where her nails clawed at her scalp.

Into the shower she went.

 _ **Dermatillomania is not something you can just "stop". It's an urge in which you can't fight. You bring your fingers to your scalp. Yes, that's it.**_

 _ **Begin digging into your scalp like no tomorrow. You eagerly look for some relief, waiting to be fulfilled. You won't stop till you get that feeling you desire the most out of this.**_

 _ **You scratch. Scratch. Still, scratching. You feel the sting as you break through layers of skin, and you start to see a tinge of red under your fingernails.**_

 _ **And… You feel better.**_

 _ **To only realize there is now a terrible wound on your scalp.**_

 _ **Well, now you know where to pick up next time you begin scratching.**_

" _ **Living with anxiety is like being followed by a voice.**_

 _ **It knows all of your insecurities and uses them against you.**_

 _ **It gets to the point where it's the loudest voice in the room.**_

 _ **The only one you can hear."**_

 _ **~Unknown**_

"Not thin enough."

It wasn't a phrase that was new. It was repeated in Korra's head every time she looked at herself in the mirror.

Every time she sat down at breakfast…

Lunch…

Dinner…

And basically anytime she thought or looked at her own body.

Korra's distorted image of her own body began long ago, when she was a child.

She remembered one time when she looked up at her mother, with wet eyes. Describing how she wanted to be thin and pretty like the _other_ girls.

Her mother tightened her arms around her daughter, whispering some words at the time in Korra's ear.

The words, at the time, may have been comforting.

But not anymore.

Because now, she knew the truth.

Even all the way back when she was still an Avatar in training, her mother's words had lost its meaning and sincerity. Lost its realness.

She knew that all other females she came In contact with definitely judged her on her appearance.

The thing they mostly whispered about was how _masculine_ she _looked_. And those baggy pants- what are those?

Her hair, pulled back plainly into a ponytail.

Dear spirits, she was such a stranger in her own tribe.

She stood out too much. She just wanted to fit in.

Soon enough though, she realized that due to her identity, the one she has held on to for dear life, she couldn't just be a regular person.

She still had mixed emotions about her identity.

Every single day still.

Shower.

Criticize.

Eat with dread.

Wait till night to try and do her scratching ritual.

Repeat.

Although, she was pretty much convinced Mako knew she had a scratching problem. The reason is, after a while of self destruction done to her scalp, Mako would take her hand away from her scalp, and entangle his fingers with hers.

Korra tried her hardest to find it a heartfelt gesture, but she knew her recent behaviors had him worried.

Maybe he could stop her from destroying her scalp for a few minutes, but he couldn't stop the raging storm of voices in her head, depicting every flaw about her body.

Korra found it extremely fulfilling when one morning, in front of the mirror, she began to see her ribs poking through.

She was in glee as she recognized how lucky females with small breasts were.

Hers have shrunken- quite a lot. She felt lighter, more free.

She felt even better when the date of her monthly cycle came, and nothing appeared. Good- she didn't need the cramping anyway.

Even with the force feeding that went around at meal times, (By force feeding, she really meant the anxiety of everyone staring at her to force her to eat), she developed a system.

Chew a little bit, grab a napkin quickly when no one is looking, and spit the food. Bundle it up real tight, and shove it in her boot. That way, she could get up easily and dispose of the food.

The stomach pains that happened daily gave her monumental amounts of joy.

She smirked, thinking "I can beat Amon against this."

Except the only thing that didn't give her joy was the excruciating headaches. Yeah, that was definitely no fun. It was a constant, horrible ache.

That's why aspirin was invented. It was an easy loophole. Take four in the morning, you're good for the next whole twenty four hours!

Oh, how this was so easy!

She was now easily acquainted with the stomach pains. In Fact, they were her fans, cheering in the bleachers as she battled with Amon.

" _ **Mental illness is the only disease that can make you deny its own existence.**_

 _ **Certainly the idea that the brain can deny its own illness is a frightening thought."**_

 _ **~Natasha Tracy.**_

Korra woke up in the _very_ early morning. Her stomach pains were too much.

She was _very_ hungry.

 _Too_ hungry to deny food.

She got out of bed as quietly as she could, careful to not disturb Mako.

She went straight towards the kitchen, digging in cabinets for food. Shoveling down anything she could find.

One bite after another of food. Food, in which she hasn't eaten in… days? No, maybe a week or so. Could be longer.

She found she _couldn't_ stop. She didn't even try to resist the urge to eat. Eat, beyond the point in which she believed she should of stopped.

She ate beyond what her stomach desired.

Her body was no longer being controlled by her mind.

 _Mostly because, her logical mind had been absent for the last couple of months._

After her binge, she leaned against the counter. She felt _extremely_ nauseous. The food settled very hard on her stomach.

Korra started to panic. Walking back and forth, whispering to herself, trying to find out _what to do._

' _I can't gain a single calorie. Not even one.'_

If she did, she lost the game. And Amon won, again. She couldn't let everybody down.

She looked over at the sink, and _the idea_ popped in her head.

It's okay, it's okay. Just this once, you'll be fine. Just this _one_ time.

 _Because whenever anyone says, "Just this one time", that 'one time' builds more courage for the 'next time'._

She couldn't reach her thighs to rub in her nervous moment, so she resorted to gnawing a hole in her cheek, and rub her arms in anticipation.

She tried to squeeze her stomach muscles to make it all come back up, but after a while of no success and sore muscles, she got nervous.

She could hear and feel the food start to digest.

Korra panicked, looking quickly for something to trigger her gag reflex.

A chopstick was spotted. She took it, and had no second thoughts as she shoved it down her throat.

It hurt a bit as it poked the back of her throat.

She kept it there, steady. Her gag reflex being triggered continuously, forcing her to make some awful sounds.

She could feel it. The nervousness, the feeling that it was coming back up.

She removed the chopstick from the back of her throat fast as all the food spewed into the sink.

From there, all she had to do was squeeze her stomach muscles as it easily came back up.

She admitted, the smell was _awful_.

It was hard to keep the sounds of choking to a minimal while you were forcing all your food to come _back_ up.

Eventually, Korra couldn't feel anymore food that was supposed to come back up. She turned on the sink, letting the water wash down all the throw up that was sitting. For extra measure, she took the dish soap and drizzled it all over the sink, and re-rinsed it with water.

She took precious water to her mouth, first washing the gross taste out of her mouth. Then, to drink. She was _really_ thirsty.

She slid down the side of the counter, resting on the cold tile.

Wow, did she feel better.

And best of all, she didn't have to gain weight.

She won this round.

Moments later she crawled back into bed with Mako.

"What were you doing?" Mako asked sleepily, repositioning his arm to accommodate Korra once again.

"Just needed a drink."

" _ **A little bit of anorexia, a little bit of bulimia. I'm not totally OK right now, but I don't think anyone is."**_

 _I honestly hope I described that scene accurately. Still kind of worried I am doing this story all wrong, although I did some pretty heavy research on eating disorders, and talked to people who have them. Even read stories from those recovering._

 _Thanks for sticking with this story so far. Leave a review!_

 _Story overview; The game had progressed even further in Korra's mind. And now, instead of this being a game to distract Korra from Amon, (Even though it was born from Amon berating her in her mind), it had rather become an obsession of Amon with Korra. Now, she was too focused beating him, it was all she thought about. Instead of distracting her away, it attracted Korra even more to Amon. Though, Korra doesn't realize it._

 _Progressing further with her problems, other anxiety coping mechanisms were born of Korra, such as dermatillomania being referred to. (Dermatillomania is a skin picking disorder). And, chronic cheek biting._

 _If you did a quick search of Korra's history in the show, Korra actually did tell her mother she wanted to be thin and pretty like the other girls. I found it interesting, cocky and confident Korra had distorted views of her own body, which was once again making an appearance, as seen in this fanfic._

 _Korra's eating disorder quickly progressed. Once again, Korra is a stubborn piece of work who does what she wants. So, I knew her eating disorder needed to progress pretty fast, and spiral out of control before anyone had time to blink._

 _When I was doing the basic outline of this chapter, I was first thinking of a long-drawn out progression. Then, I decided 'What the hell!' Because, that isn't like Korra._

 _Maybe I am bias, but I do feel like this is something Korra would do, in defense of Amon._

 _And then, the lie at the very end Korra told Mako, was just proof she would be doing a lot of lying through this story._

 _And that's it!_


	5. The Purge

You know what else would help to keep her weight down? Exercising.

Of course! Exercising! Why hadn't she thought of that idea a long time ago?

She still had free access to the arena's gym, and despite Amon completely and ruthlessly destroying the damn place, the gym was hurriedly repaired for next seasons teams to practice.

She went early in the morning, and stayed till late noon. And although she knew the excuse, "I have avatar-stuff to attend to", would only last _so_ long, she used it anyway.

She wasn't worried about Tenzin finding out of her extended trips to the gym, at least not first.

Korra had more faith in Pema finding out first.

Tenzin was highly intelligent, sure. However, when it came down to teenage behaviors and rituals, he was close to being clueless.

Oh, how soon will he find out with Jinora getting close to those years.

Sure, he would obviously know exercising for hours on end _couldn't_ be healthy, but how would he get down to that one hypothesis that Korra was overworking healthy exercising hours, if he didn't know in the first place why the waterbender was attracted to the gym area.

Tenzin was extremely disapproval, yet ignorant, however, as he thought Korra was going to the gym rather to meet a boy.

'Spirits, these teenagers are so unfaithful to each other!' He said to himself, feeling sympathy for the young firebender she was supposedly dating.

.

.

.

Korra didn't _just_ got to the gym daily.

Oh no, you see, she had a complete schedule fresh in her mind.

You see, before, Amon was always one step ahead of the teenagers in every single aspect. Thought of a crazy plan that took hours to plan-out? He thought of it first.

Wanted to hit the man with a surprise blast of an element? He knew minutes beforehand of your attack.

Wanted to lose weight, fast? He was already a paper-weight, floating freely through the air. No weight brought him down, as he could freely fly around. He didn't even have any mass to corrupt his freedom.

Korra was so envious.

So, she needed to beat him at this game.

So, if he was present, taunting her _very_ damaged mind, she would train for three hours straight. If he came again, she would double it. Six hours. Twelve hours. Train until she felt like she could drop _dead_.

If it actually came down to that heinous decision, Korra honestly wouldn't know which choice would be the most appealing.

In either decision, Amon would win. She couldn't die, that's exactly what Amon fought for, along with equalizing the entire world.

She couldn't gain weight, either. That would be a loss. To the game, of course.

So, Korra decided on the nice thin line between dying, and barely surviving.

Oh, it was a wonderful axis between the two options she had, wasn't it? Her life, literally on the line. Her, tittering on life and death.

The feeling of that decision, that much power, that much _glory_ simply overtook Korra with immense excitement.

It would give her an adrenaline rush, oh it would.

To win the game. To be so close to death, yet hang on with only her bones and her sagging skin left to keep her on the ground. Just enough weight to keep strong winds from picking her up, and let her float away. Just enough to win the game.

 _Just_ enough to taunt Amon that she, Korra, has indeed won.

It was like walking right on the edge of an insanely steep cliff. Just enough inches away from the impending edge to know that you were more than likely not going to fall, you had a good grip on the ground below you. Unless, of course, there were to be a rock that you slipped on. Then, you tumble hundreds of feet like a ragdoll. Feel your heart thumping so hard in your chest, you were almost assured you would die of a heart attack before you hit the ground.

Your heart remains in its panicked state, and you hit the ground with the _thump_ that leaves too many broken bones to count. Enough to create a very thick crack in your skull, which lead you to bleed out some more. Even though you were already gone by then.

And then, people would be whispering over your broken, dead body, "They got taken out by a single pebble?"

Was it still worth the risk to tightrope on the edge of that cliff?

Of course.

And then after, maybe her bones will simply disintegrate from the lack of nutrients. She can crawl out of her skin. Find one of the many lacerations that would soon appear on her wrists and thighs, allow her very soul and spirit to crawl out of its imprisonment.

She just outgrew her skin, that's all.

Then, and only then, would she be able to float freely.

Ha! Look at all of these _walking_ people. People with meat and flesh weighing down their bones, forcing them to walk on their feet.

Oh, how they needed to feel the freedom that no weight gave you.

She felt superior to all these people weighed down by flesh. Oh, she reveled in the ways she could undercut Tenzin's authority without him finding out about a _thing_.

First, however, she needed to get to being paper-weight. She needed to be as light as a feather, that can be lifted up with a simple whisk of wind, blowing past on a Summer day.

And so, she continued with her awful habits.

Her original plan was to keep stuffing her boots with the chewed food. Unfortunately, they had picked up on her ridding her mouth of food, and instead had vacationed it to the inside of her shoe.

Plan 'B' consisted of eating extremely fast of the food she was forced to digest. However, the digestion stopped at her stomach. As she kneeled in front of the toilet, and stuck her fingers to the back of her throat, jabbing at the place that forces her to gag.

She gagged a few times, and then soon the partially digested food came spewing into the toilet bowl, covering the white porcelain with streaks of discoloration.

After the chore had been taken care of, she repeatedly flushed the toilet until what was possible for the water to flush down was all gone. The only evidence; smell.

The smell was _awful_. Of course, anything going through your body and then making an appearance once again after if had been through your body, never would smell like roses.

That's when she got the glass bottle out of the medicine cabinet. It was dusty from never being used, yet the pink and watery liquid inside burst with coloration and excitement.

Almost as if an elegant spirit had been trapped in the ruins of a damaged body.

Asami had given her the perfume for her birthday. She thanked her for the strong smelling liquid, of course. However, she never put it on.

It wasn't that she was not thankful for the present, however it was some sort of weird mixture. She was more bias towards floral scents. It made sense, her mother always had on floral perfume in her earliest childhood memories.

So, she decided to use the perfume to her advantage, puffing clouds of the scent in the air.

Then, after the fresh scent does its best to mask the odor as well as Amon masked his face, she would go brush her teeth. Rinse her mouth out with lots, and _lots_ of water.

She thought that brushing her teeth would whiten them, prevent them from discoloration after vomiting so much.

Instead, her teeth had started to dull down from a pristine white all the way to a lightish yellow, discoloring her once healthy teeth.

She had also started to realize her teeth had became extremely sensitive to the extremes of hot and cold.

Her fresh hot tea had now gave her teeth an ache after one drink, and she would wait impatiently for it to cool down.

Cold dessert that's served gave her teeth and ache also. She felt the cold, creamy custard attack her teeth with frostbite in its wicked intent.

She felt all along her teeth with her tongue, feeling the chill.

She complained about her constant toothache one day to Mako.

"They probably have become more sensitive. Anything you have done to weaken them?" Mako questioned, not picking up on a small, yet relevant hint on what Korra was doing with her body.

"Of course not. And what are you now, a dentist?" Korra spat at him.

Mako rolled his eyes.

" _ **The anorectic operates under the astounding illusion that she can escape the flesh, and, by association, the realm of emotions."**_

 _ **~Marya Hornbacher**_

Korra heard from somewhere, (where she heard it, slipped her mind), that drinking things before you eat was the way to healthily digest food. (This sounded really familiar… had she heard it from the radio?)

So, she wondered… if it helped digesting the food, could it possibly be easier when it was coming back up?

She tested the theory one evening at dinner. She made sure to prepare the tea early for that evening, and drank a cup around thirty minutes before dinner was to commence. Then, as she was sitting down once again at the wicked ritual of _eating,_ she grabbed the tea quickly and filled her cup to the brim. She gulped it down, and then poured herself another cup. The third went down the hatch, and she greedily poured more of the spiced water in her cup.

She looked up, and to the interest of her, everyone was staring at her as the fourth round was being poured in the cup, turning to droplets as it nearly overflowed over the brim.

She shook the kettle, finding that it had no more to offer her.

Pema stood up, "I'll make some more."

Korra decided to distribute her small quantity of tea up between bites, for reassuring extra measures.

"Don't think you're thirsty." Bolin simply stated, giving Korra a smile as he was referring to humor and sarcasm.

She smiled back, but didn't reply.

It was actually true, she had been quite thirsty over these past everlasting weeks. Her mouth had been desert dry, and she licked her chapped lips every so often to remoisten the cracked skin.

She didn't exactly know why her mouth had suddenly become parched, but whatever the reason may be, she knew it would go away soon.

" _ **Eat, baby.**_

 _ **Eat.**_

 _ **chew**_

 _ **Please.**_

 _ **I know it hurts. I know it doesn't feel good.**_

 _ **Please.**_

 _ **I know your hunger is different than mine.**_

 _ **I know it doesn't taste the same as mine."**_

…

" _ **And I love you so much.**_

 _ **I am going to hold your little hand through the night.**_

 _ **Just please eat. Just a little.**_

 _ **You wrote a poem once,**_

 _ **About a city of walking skeletons.**_

 _ **The teacher called you home because you told her you wished it could be like that**_

 _ **Here.**_

 _ **Let me tell you something about bones, baby.**_

 _ **They are not warm or soft.**_

 _ **The wind whistles through them like they are holes in a tree.**_

 _ **And they break, too. They break right in half.**_

 _ **They bruise and splinter like wood.**_

 _ **Are you hungry?**_

 _ **I know.**_

 _ **I know how much you hate that question.**_

 _ **I will find another way to ask it, someday…"**_

 _ **~Caitlyn Siehl**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

 _Chapter four is down! This chapter rather focused on the issues that come with the eating disorder Korra has chosen to indulge herself in. As you could probably tell, the part of the chapter where it talks about tumbling down a mountain is similar to the tightrope Korra is walking on. I thought it made a great comparison._

 _I've also realised that this story has become a lot less social than I would like it to be. I am attending to those needs, I promise!_

 _I have also realised that I put WAY too many commas in my stories. I have checked myself on that multiple times, and now I am being more mindful that too many commas can make a sentence extremely choppy. I am working on that, I promise._

 _I think that although this is the shortest chapter of the collection, (Except the opening chapter), it drags with it the most meaning. Maybe that's me, because I am a bias bitch._

 _Reviews would be appreciated!_


	6. The Realisation

"Hey… Do you want to go... out tonight?" Mako questioned.

.

.

.

"Sure. Where to?" Korra asked. Although she tried within her bearings to hide her excitement, he could tell the idea thrilled her. Though she berated herself mentally, not allowing her to get her excitement out, as _'going out'_ could mean _a lot_ of things.

Bolin brought it to his attention only a few days ago.

"Where did you take Korra out on your guys' first date?" Bolin inquired, looking at Mako with eyes only a curious younger brother could give.

"First date?" Mako questioned. It was more of a question he was asking himself, to refresh his mind of the memory that actually wasn't there.

"Yeah, you know. The _first date._ The romantic setting, the stereotypical goodnight kiss. And _maybe, if_ you were lucky…" Bolin's expression changed to a wicked grin, and his eyebrows wiggled at Mako.

Ah, Bolin. Making a simple question turn into an embarrassing storytime.

Except, this time, there was no story. And he couldn't read between the lines.

Mako turned back to the task at hand, shaking his head as he left Bolin _almost_ unanswered.

He bombarded his mind with stress to remember his and Korra's first date. Searching, searching. _Still_ searching.

And it clicked…

Nothing.

Him and Korra have never went out on a date. His shoulders slightly sagged in sadness, as he was expecting the stereotypical first date that Bolin had mentioned.

Even as generic and substandard that date sounded, his heart swelled at the thought of a romantic night with Korra.

He snapped out of his fantasy, and his nails dug into the cotton shirt he was in the middle of folding.

"Me and Korra never went out on a date."

Mako kept his calm composition. He knew how _romantically knowledgeable_ his brother was. Which meant he might be given a lecture by his younger brother, of all people.

Mako realised how depressing it was his younger brother was teaching him a few things about girls.

After several uncomfortable moments had passed and not a peep of displeasure from his brother, Mako turned around to his awe-struck brother.

Mako didn't expect anything less.

"You have _never_ taken Korra out on a date?" Bolin asked the question that was just surely answered.

Mako answered Bolin with silence, yet slight guilt was peeping through his usually quiet and emotionless eyes.

"Why? What!? How?" Bolin let all of the questions free from his lips instantaneously.

"It just never happened. And since a date never happened, there was no way it could have _lead to other things."_ Mako hissed, swiping away the shirt Bolin was supposedly 'folding.'

Mako didn't know why he answered his brother's dirty questions anyway.

"But you guys _sleep_ in the _same_ bed!" Bolin exclaimed.

"That doesn't mean _anything._ We slept in the same bed until we got the apartment above the arena." Mako reminded Bolin.

Mako could _feel_ the intense eye roll, "Mako, that's different and you know it." Bolin claimed.

Now it was Mako's time to roll his eyes, "Whatever. And mine and Korra's… personal relationship is _none_ of your business." Mako threatened, staring his little brother until he shrunk.

Bolin threw his arms up in the air, "Okay, okay. I am just saying, I didn't know you guys would _actually_ wait for _that_ like a bunch of _moral people_." Bolin said, feeling himself being able to challenge his brother once again.

Nope, the look Mako gave him was enough for him to shrink so much he would be like a tiny beetle-bug on the floor.

Mako returned to folding the whites. The question tugged at the ends of his mind, and as much as he didn't want to drag out this horribly humiliating conversation, he asked anyway.

"Why did you want to know anyway?"

"About the sex part? I don't know. You are pretty fun to mess around with, and you get squirmy when anything like that is brought up." Bolin said consciously.

Mako cringed, and sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, gaining more and more humiliated as Bolin talked more about his and Korra's intimacy.

"Not that," Mako hissed, "I mean about why you wanted to know what I and Korra did on our first date, which didn't happen." He reminded quickly, making sure his brother knew he had no experience incase the tables were turned and Bolin needed the advice.

Bolin's mouth went into a nervous smile, and his nervous tic came to life as he started scratching the back of his neck. A habit in which both of the brothers shared.

Mako narrowed his eyes at his brother with suspicion.

"Well… I was planning to ask Asami out of on a date. And, since Korra is still with a stubborn asshole like yourself, I was wondering what you did to keep her tied down with you." Bolin insulted, a smirk painted itself on his face.

Mako let out a disgruntled groan.

Mako _actually does wonder what Korra sees in him._

Mako shook his head, and turned around to try and focus back on folding the fresh laundry, though he knew he couldn't focus at the task anymore with his little brother _bothering_ him.

"So you and Asami?" Mako asked, his question gave off an uninterested tone.

"Yeah." Was all Bolin could say.

And suddenly, a light bulb flicked on with the _best idea ever_ in Bolin's mind.

"Why don't we go on a double date!" Bolin exclaimed, already comfortable with the idea.

"Yeah, right." Mako answered, burning down his brother's confidence in _such_ a _brilliant_ idea.

"Aw, come on Mako. It would be fun. It's a good idea, trust me."

Bolin's first sentence rung in Mako's ears. It was what Bolin said to Mako to try and convince Mako that this mysterious girl should stay. How _special_ she was.

 _Flashback_

 _"Bolin, I told you to stop bringing your crazy fan girls in here before the matches. Get her out of here." Mako hissed, not even bothering to look at the woman behind him._

 _"Aw, come on Mako. Okay look, I kinda promised her she could stay. But man, I got a good feeling about her! She's special, I know it!" His brother beamed, motioning to the lady behind him who had taken much interest in her surroundings._

 _He muttered insulting things about the lack of Bolin's common sense, and how his stupid fangirls are always so annoying._

 _The teenager, who he had guessed was similar to his age, set out a friendly hand that had intentions of shaking his own, "Mako? I heard you play on the radio!"_

 _"Come on Bolin were up."_

 _"Or… I could meet him later."_

 _Bolin stayed behind to probably tell the young lady all about how he was a douchebag to everyone, it wasn't her._

 _"You guys did incredible out there! Especially you, Mr. Hat trick." She encouraged. His ears perked with disapproval at the new nickname he had acquired._

 _"Oh, you're still here?"_

 _End of flashback_

Mako still cringed at how rude and disrespectful he was to Korra, despite her upbeat and positive attitude. Only to later realize they would be _lovers_ , and Mako's mind couldn't even comprehend the idea that they would be sleeping in the same bed just a seemingly short seven months ago.

He still punched himself everyday at the realization that he only started to give her a shred of respect when he was informed in a deservingly rude way that she was, in fact, the Avatar.

He kind have needed to start respecting her a little more in the moment. Her very purpose was to keep the balance between the physical world and the mortal world. She was the main protector over everyone, to keep the peace.

She was an immortal in a mortal's body.

And in the moment that's what sparked the lovely curiosity in the teenager. She was a human, yet a spirit. She was an immortal, yet a mortal. She was Korra, yet she was thousands of other persons.

Except, Mako now just saw her as the Korra he fell _oh so in love with_ , at his brother's expense.

His brother! Right, he asked him a question.

Mako cleared his throat to ground him once again from floating away into a world where it was all about how amazing Korra was.

"No, Bo. That's a _terrible_ idea. Remember, some months ago, when Asami and I dated? What idiot would bring his new girlfriend out on a date to a place where his ex-girlfriend is?" Mako asked, knowing the answer would involve him anyway.

"That idiot, would be you my good brother. It won't be awkward since I'll be too busy sweeping Asami off her feet, and you will be too busy taking notes to give Korra an evening she _deserves."_ Mako wrinkled his nose at the idea.

It was true, Korra did deserve something like that. At the very least, from Mako. He was in real astonishment at how she hasn't dumped him back out onto the streets yet.

Him and Korra haven't Exactly explored their romantic options. A nice compliment here or there. If they were feeling particularly generous that day, they would share a kiss.

Korra _deserved_ this thing, at least.

Mako realised he was _actually_ back in the real world. He had just finished teaching Korra how to _properly_ fold some laundry, and how to stack it according to varieties in sizes.

And he had just asked her on their first date.

Mako sighed at the irony that he was in the situation of laundry-folding again, and going through a crisis. Oh, why did he do these things to himself?

"Just a restaurant Bolin had mentioned. It's somewhere on a back road in the nicer part of town." Mako recalled what his brother was setting up earlier with Asami.

He saw Korra physically cringe at the 'restaurant' part. She tensed, hearing the distasteful word.

He saw her physical reaction, and he took a complete three-sixty turn around as his nervousness from being hit with a stinging rejection backed him up, "It's not that we have to go, though. You know, we could just go for a walk in the park, or something. Or, I could give you a formal walk-through of the city. Or, you know, we could just not go on a _date_ at all, and we could just stay here, fold and arrange laundry according to its size and participle of clothing."

He would have selflessly volunteered to do the honors of shooting himself with a fireball at the 'date' part. He rushed the word so fast it was nearly unnoticeable, but the word stuck in the middle of a sentence like a red spot on a white background. That word drew _all_ the attention.

Him saying the word confirmed that it was most definitely a date, an occasion in which he was asking Korra to with so much embarrassment, yet dread, yet with so much honestly and love that he would be insanely happy if she were to agree to attend it with him.

' _Spirits, how many emotions can this woman make me feel?!'_

Korra, though going through such a rough spot in her relationship with food, was not going to let this opportunity slip by her. It was going to be their first date, after all.

Korra picked up on Mako's nervous breakdown, as he started to fold the clothes at monumental speeds.

"I would love to." Korra said, placing her hand on Mako's shoulder. Her touch sent millions of nerves to become inflamed, and her words seeped through his ears, and took a visit down his spine, sending electrical currents that tingles all the way up and down. It settles where the anxious pit in his heart was filled with her words, recovering with amazing grace, like when you break a bone and after it's done healing, it's stronger than before.

"Really?" He looked over at her eyes, which pooled the same amount of love and passion as his. Almost as if he was looking in the mirror, except he was looking at the eternal sea that was held within her eyes.

And he wanted to play in her waves.

She shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, though her answer meant the absolute world to him. "Of course. It's a date." She winked at him, and playfully bumped her hip into his.

She didn't see it, but Mako was taken back at how _bony_ her hip felt as it crashed against his. It left a stinging smack as the bone hit squarely into the outside of his right thigh.

Though, Mako returned his attention back to her answer. Through all the years of self-teaching, and self-motivation to hide his emotions from the rest of the world, he couldn't help suppress his overwhelming happiness now.

"' _Nicer part of town'?_ Are we going to be able to afford that?" Korra asked, not trying to drain the romantic moment, though she was in a confused state on how they were going to be able to afford a nice restaurant. The United Republic was a place where money was involved with anything, no questions asked. And to be in the heart of the United Republic, in _Republic city_!? She could only imagine how jacked up the prices were, overpriced for what they were really worth.

They could drain your life savings from one simple dish, when she could probably go home and get the same exact food with equal quality, (possibly better), for a side.

Mako's happiness was dampered a bit at how he was going to have to explain to his girlfriend that his utmost annoying brother, and his ex-girlfriend would be joining them.

Mako suddenly wished that he had thought of a different plan to take Korra on their first date. Somewhere where nobody could ruin the moment.

Mako's anxiety tic was sparked to life, and his hand found the back of his neck in comfort, "Yeah… About that, we're going on a double-date with Bolin and Asami. And since we all know Asami could literally buy the restaurant herself, she already volunteered to pay the bill." Mako admitted. He bit his lip, and saw her face fall on Asami's name being mentioned.

She didn't dislike Asami, Asami was really sweet and kind. Just the thought of Mako and Asami existing as a _thing_ before, bothered Korra. However, she would swallow her jealousy dry.

Mako knew how to quickly take her mind away from the heiress. He moved closer to Korra, wrapping his warm arms around her. His attention became slightly impaired as his fingers gently graced across her spine, where bones were _definitely_ sticking out.

' _Was that normal?'_

He fixed his attention away from that other problem that Mako didn't want invading and ruining their moment further so, "I think we will be too busy doing _other things_ we won't notice them." Mako said with a wicked smile. It was the first time Mako had suggested something so provocative, and he was relieved when Korra challenged back with the same intent, "Really now? Would you mind demonstrating to me the course of action you have in mind?" Korra grinned, staring deep into his eyes, which leaked of new desires.

"Gladly."

His hands snuck through her thick hair, and pushed her head lightly to him, their lips touching. Then, he pressed harder into the kiss, Korra following through with his actions so she could meet him with double the passion he was putting out.

She curled her arms tightly around Mako's neck. She could feel his racing pulse as her fingers pressed lightly on the side of his neck. In response, he pulled her tighter into his embrace. Her breasts smashed against his chest, and Korra laughed into the kiss. Mako smiled in response.

His arms explored her waist, which has a nice curve in before it expanded again into feminine hips that he had yet to explore. Up and down her sides, the motions were repeated as he injected his tongue into Korra's mouth. Korra let out a grunt of surprise but quickly met his tongue with her own. Their saliva, their passion, and love mixing together.

They both kept desperately closing in on eachother until they needed a break of air before they passed out.

Mako lightly pushed her head into his chest, leaning his chin on her hair and gasping for the air that was far less delicious than Korra's mouth.

Korra gasped for air in his chest, and her could feel her hot and desperate breaths penetrate his fabric and settle on his skin so tauntingly.

Korra looked up at Mako, and her eyes were dazed and it looked like she took street drugs.

"Wow." Was all she breathed, laughing slightly as she returned to the secure place of his chest.

"That was only the pre-view." Mako stated, petting her hair in admiration at how long and thick it really was. He liked it a lot when it was down.

"Can't wait for the whole show." Korra said, looking up at him with a smirk.

Much to Korra's disapproval, he pulled away from her.

"Avatars get a free ticket." He said, still exceptionally close to her.

"Even better so." She said, turning back to the task that now seemed so miniscule.

Without looking, he pulled a piece of clothing from the basket. He looked after he felt such an… Unfamiliar shape. He stared in horror as he looked back to Korra's breast bindings in his hand.

"Oh good sir, what _ever_ are you doing with my underclothes?" Korra laughed, interrogating the young man.

The laugh was so genuine, so kind-hearted… And so Korra. It made his ears soak up the honeyed sound of her laugh, and it made his heart clench with love, desperately trying to fall into a consistent beat with her melodic voice.

Though intense red powdered his face with embarrassment, he smiled a genuine smile at Korra.

 _Korra. Spirits, even her name was perfect._ It left a good taste in his mouth, and just the right vocal vibrations to make her name that much more beautiful to him.

It only took Mako a few seconds to fall into the rhythm of her sweet laughter.

.

.

.

"Does nice restaurant equal nice clothes?" Korra looked over to Mako, suddenly realizing her wardrobe disaster.

It was the first time Mako had thought about the possibility, also.

He took a swing at guessing, "No?"

Korra ignored the underlying questioning tone in his answer, and shut her wardrobe door, content with the authentic water tribe clothes she was already wearing.

She shrugged it off, and walked next to Mako as they made their way to the ferry docks.

"Where are you two going?" The question was neither intimidating or threatening, so Mako didn't immediately firebend at the person behind them.

The voice soon registered in Mako as Pema's voice, and he turned around with a slight smile.

"Just going to the city." Korra said, not wanting to go into depth.

Pema was not one to interrogate, so she just winked at the couple and continued on her way to the kitchens.

They were greeted by Bolin and Asami, who also wore regular clothing. They both exhaled in relief.

They docked the ferry that came only minutes later, and were soon walking the streets of Republic City.

The settling sky was becoming a swirl of pinks and purples, the night born young as Winter was approaching with enthusiasm. Mako didn't exactly feel comfortable walking the shady streets so close to night. Night was where most dangerous deeds went down, and the perfect time to attack an unwilling person.

Mako stepped closer to Korra, snaking his arm around her waist in a protective reflex. She took his contact, and tried desperately to match with his long strides.

Mako quickly caught on to what she was doing, and for giggles he took even longer, faster steps. Korra was being jostled around as she struggled to keep up with him.

"You can't keep up with me, you're too short." He smirked down at his girlfriend.

"Am not!" She cried.

Mako decided he had enough fun, and slowed down to her pace, instead matching up with her own steps.

She huffed, punching his shoulder, "Jerk."

He kissed her forehead, "Love you too."

After several minutes being wasted of Bolin pointing in a random direction and claiming it was the right way, they found the restaurant. It glowed of red from the colorful lanterns inside.

They were seated, and now the anxiety really kicked in. She shakily held the menu, looking over the selection.

' _Five-hundred and sixty calories? That's what I eat in a couple of days!'_ Korra thought. Each of these dishes were filled to the brim with calories.

Anything that contained meat was immediately excluded from her options. Known for many carbs, she labeled pastas and meats as 'bad' foods.

Vegetables were labeled as 'okay' foods. Although, they could contain something that could ruin her entire chance at winning the _game_.

She settled on a soup that was native to the water tribe. From her experiences she had recalled before, the soup was made out of scraps during times in which you could not get your hands on supplies. Whether it was from just a shortage of goods transported to the tribe, or under horrible whether conditions you were forced to scrape up something just to eat.

Either way, she had remembered the soup was good. It wasn't exactly known for its _oh so nourishing_ ingredients, making it the perfect scapegoat.

No matter how few carbs, or calories it had, it needed to be rid of. Food, no matter what kind, was still threatening to her chances.

Now… How was she going to _get rid_ of it in time? She scanned over the restaurant, not finding a single sign that hinted a bathroom, she hissed under her breath, "There's no bathroom in here _at all?"_

"Why? Do you need to use the bathroom?" Mako said. Dammit, Mako heard her disgruntled question.

Korra turned her head to him with a smile painted on, "Nope. Just what I noticed."

Their drinks arrived. Korra downed her water fast, remembering how easier it is to _get rid_ of her food if she had liquids beforehand. And with the holy drinks, came the dreaded appetizer. Fresh bread was placed in front of them, the delicious fumes teasing Korra's senses.

She denied the crazy good smells, sipping on her water and rubbing her other free hand nervously against her thigh.

Maybe while they were walking out of the restaurant she could excuse herself and go throw up in an ally?

That was a dangerous way. Too close to getting caught. Not to mention she would need to clean herself up somehow.

Hopefully they would just arrive to the Air temple in time…

Her knee bounced so hard she hit the table, causing drinks to splash on the table, much to everyone's annoyance. She distracted herself by counting how many sips of water it would take until the cup was empty.

One piece of the baked good was then held up to Korra's face, "Korra, try this bread! It's amazing." Bolin said, graciously giving her one of the last scraps.

She turned it down kindly, gently pushing the food away from her face.

"Okay, more for me!" Bolin exclaimed, popping the piece in his mouth.

Mako looked at Korra from the corner of his eye.

Mako knew Korra wasn't exactly responding very well to food. Though, he didn't know why.

And no matter how hard he tried to push it out of his conscience, he couldn't deny she has gotten _a lot_ skinnier. In the sense that it was unhealthy so. Even when he hugged her, he could feel the bones sticking out of her skin… almost as if they were begging to be noticed…

Not to mention she was making frequent bathroom trips… What was that all about?

Her heart dropped when she saw the friendly face of the server smile as a way to let them know it was their food on the way.

Her bowl had been placed in front of her first, and she looked down at the food. She caught on straight away that color was slightly off, more yellowish and bright than what she had recalled.

Seasonings that had been peppered on her food was spotting her dish with black dots, and she noticed a… lump?

She picked up her soup spoon and scooped it up. The thick liquid slid off it and it was a… mushroom?

Vegetables were not very common in the South pole. Mostly because shipping was a huge expense. So, that's mostly why her main diet consisted of meat, there was not much else in the wickedly cold South pole.

She dropped her spoon in the soup. Staring, she had definitely recollected that there was something… off about her soup. It wasn't how she remembered it.

Her eyes stuck to the bowl of liquid and vegetables. She didn't know exactly how long she was staring at it. Could have been a few seconds, all the way to maybe fifteen minutes. But Mako broke her gaze away, "Why aren't you eating?" He asked, setting down his chopsticks and looking intently at Korra.

She looked around to see everyone was a little more than halfway done with their meals.

She knew she heard conversation, but she didn't seem to listen in.

"It's too hot. Waiting for it to cool down." Korra stated, repositioning herself.

"Can't be. It's been a while since they brought it out."

Her heart thumped as he took hold of her bowl, and slushed the soup around with the spoon until he was content with a bite. He sipped it, swallowing it down.

Lukewarm.

"Not hot at all. You're safe." He joked, giving her the bowl back.

' _Nothing about food is safe.'_

She gripped the spoon, finding a small sip of soup and held it to her lips.

The liquid hit her taste buds, and she immediately wanted to spit it out.

 _Butter_. Oh, butter galore! She couldn't get past the taste. The fatty, milky taste of the smooth liquid.

She knew it! She just knew it! These… _bitches_ sabotaged her food! They _want_ her to lose the game.

These people are working with Amon! Oh, they are probably in the kitchen snickering at how she lost this round. How she will lose the _whole_ game! They are behind the counter now, taunting her how she will _never_ match up to Amon's wittiness.

It took all of her might to swallow the imitation food.

"Are you okay?" Asami's sweet voice filled the tainted air.

"Just-uhm- _a lot_ of butter." Korra admitted, trying her best to wipe off the oily substance from her mouth.

"Well, maybe that's a good thing. I mean, you have lost a lot of weight…" Asami said. The whole table froze.

It was the first time it had been vocally recognized that Korra has lost weight.

"Really?" Korra asked dumbly, pretending she had _oh no clue_ of the problem.

Asami nodded, though she presented Korra with caring eyes.

"Do you all think this?" She asked, looking around to everyone.

' _Do they all know?'_

Out of everyone to speak after such a tender moment, Bolin answered.

"I mean, yeah. You have lost some weight. That's doesn't mean you look bad, though! You look great! Not that you didn't look great before." Bolin babbled away, making the situation worse.

Mako sighed.

"Guys, I promise I'm fine. Nothing to worry about. I just lost a little weight, that's it." Bolin, as näive as ever, relaxed at her pathetic reassurance. Asami gave a rather unconvinced smile.

Korra ate the rest of her soup, opposing to what every voice was telling her. Her mind began to race with ways she could rid herself of the oily dinner.

It took _forever_ for Asami to pay the bill, and Korra hurriedly pulled Mako along with her out of the restaurant.

Korra noticed they took a turn away from the Air temple.

"Uhm, where are we going?" Korra asked nervously, glancing over her shoulder at the island.

"We were just going to go to the city park." Asami said.

"Oh. Sorry, I can't join you. I need to head back to the island. Thanks for dinner!" Korra turned around before the people behind her could say a word. She sped walk towards the docks.

A pair of fast footsteps followed her own.

"What are you doing?" Mako caught up to her fairly quickly.

Her brain rattled through every excuse it could muster up.

"Forgot I need to babysit the kids." She said.

"But Korra, Pema-" He was cut off as she started sprinting at full speed.

She looked frantically for the ferry, which was on its way already to the temple. She cursed, and looked at the waters below.

' _Can't wait that long.'_

She heard Mako's yells for her name become muffled as she dived into the water, swallowing her up like a pill.

She swam the whole way, not taking a break until she got to the island.

She gasped for air as she broke the water's surface. Using water to her advantage, she catapulted herself on the island. Heading straight to her bedroom, she ran into the bathroom and locked the door.

She kneeled next to the toilet, and for several minutes her finger jabbed at the back of her throat.

She realised soon enough she wasn't going to throw it up like this, and she spotted her toothbrush on the counter. She grabbed it, and stuffed it to the back of her throat. It's bristles upsetting the scratches her nails had already made.

Eventually the imitation meal had made it's journey back up, and she threw it all up until she couldn't feel anything weigh her body down.

She cleaned everything up quickly, and just as she was exiting the bathroom Mako had burst into her room. She was startled as the walls around her shook from his action.

"What was that all about?" Mako asked as he walked up to her.

She gave a half-assed excuse, "I thought I needed to babysit the kids." She repeated.

"Yeah, that explains it, even after we said goodbye to Pema on our way out to dinner."

Her cheeks were dusted with a blush from embarrassment. She didn't think about that…

"I forgot Pema was here." She said, looking up into Mako's eyes.

She was startled as his eyes switched from the mix of confusion and slight anger to pure worry.

"Have you been crying?"

No, she hasn't.

Her fingers found her way up to her eyes, which were very wet and leaking. She noticed after every time she threw up, her eyes became so watery.

She wiped them away, "Oh, no. The saltwater irritated my eyes, is all." She said, rubbing her eyes.

Mako may have believed that excuse, he had seen her crying. And a lot else happened besides wet eyes.

He finally asked it.

"What is going on?" He reached down and gave her hands a quick squeeze of reassurance.

"Nothing." She spouts reflexively.

"You know no matter what, you can tell me anything." He reminded her, his fingers rubbing over her bony knuckles.

She smiled up at him, "Yeah, I know."

He pulled her into an embrace, and his body shivered as his fingertips ghosted across her spine.

.

.

.

Even though Mako and Korra had ran off with a lame excuse, Bolin and Asami continued with their walk.

Bolin was in the middle of explaining to Asami the cool trick he was teaching Pabu, he realised Asami wasn't exactly listening. Her mind was elsewhere.

"Are you okay?" His voice mimicked the sincerity as when he asked Korra the same question many months back, after they had found her crying on the side of a cliff.

"There _is_ something going on with Korra. Something she doesn't want to tell anyone."

Bolin's eyebrow raised, "Why wouldn't she tell us?"

"Are you kidding? Have you met Korra? Probably because she is too ashamed." Asami stated.

"Well, what do you think is going on with her?"

"Have you really seen her eat unless she is pressured to?"

Bolin thought long and hard, afraid it was a trick question.

"Not really, no." He concluded.

"Exactly. I think… Before we were pressuring her to eat she could have been starving herself."

Bolin's expression changed, due to the shift in mood of the conversation.

"Who would do that, though?" Bolin questioned. He wondered why anyone would voluntarily starve, when they had every means to eat. He knew what it was like to starve, after years of being on the streets. Scraping up anything that the human body could digest.

"Someone who has an eating disorder."

.

.

.

 _Hey everyone! This chapter is actually the longest chapter I have ever done, of literally any story. Sorry for my inconsistency! So far, the usual chapter is around 2-3 thousand words, and then BAM! I hit you with a five-thousand word chapter. Gotta mix it up every once in a while, eh?_

 _In my outline for this chapter, Mako was originally supposed to find out about Korra. Instead, I decided to torture you and hold it off. Really, the story isn't ready for Mako to find out just yet._

 _That would be too easy._

 _Story overview; I realised the story desperately thirsted for some social interaction, because so far everything had been closed off to Korra's mind, which is what I really didn't want._

 _I decided that Mako was finally going to man up and ask Korra on a date. Which, to her dismay, would be at a restaurant. The double-date was needed to desperately keep the flow and progression of the story._

 _I also decided to include snippets of the actual storyline here, just to keep it clear that them meeting happened just as it had in the show._

 _(Got to throw some sexual themes in there, although nothing actually happens)._

 _As much as I hate the Masami ship, I decided it really needed to be included still because it would act as another insecurity in Korra that she ties down._

 _Her eating disorder is rather many things, and reasons accumulating into this behavior. It's not just one thing that throws Korra into the deep-end, and it matches with her personality._

 _Every once in a while I add a new side effect to Korra's disorder, so watch out for those so you can keep up on the progressive of her eating disorder._

 _Oh I decided to keep Bolin's innocence in the situation._

 _Asami's last line also hints she knows something alike what Korra is going through…_

 _Leave a review!_


	7. The Markers

" _ **You see, a binge is almost always inevitable when one goes without eating for such a long period of time. It doesn't just satisfy the physical hunger that becomes you; it nourishes the physiological need to escape from your own controlling mind. In this way, the binge presents itself as the ultimate loss of control."**_

 _ **.**_

"Trust me Tenzin, I got it down." Korra reassured her airbending master, hoping to slip her way through this morning's training session and head right to the gym. She had already ducked right under Tenzin's authority once today, by taking a break from her meditation time and using the bathroom to quickly throw up her breakfast.

"You are still not quite finished with your training yet, Korra. It's crucial you know all of the techniques." Tenzin restated with his amazing sense of tranquility.

"You can not rush through this element. The element of air is about patience, and lightness."

' _I am doing good at that second part.'_

"I know, Tenzin." She whined.

He nodded, "Good. So let's continue."

Korra grudgingly pushed through the rest of her dreadful daily training. As soon as it was over, she sped-walked to her room to prepare to go the gym.

"Where are you going?" Bolin's voice rang through the silent room, settling in Korra's ears.

"I'm actually going to the arena, workout at the gym. Do you want to come with me?" She said, turning around to be met with Bolin's thrilled expression.

"Hell yeah I want to come!" Bolin squealed.

Bolin ran from the room to his own, packing his own things into the dusty gym bag that hasn't been used for months.

Korra met Bolin outside, who was waiting impatiently for her with his companion.

"Bringing Pabu?" Korra asked, scratching the animal behind it's twitchy ear.

"Yeah. I figured since we haven't been there in a while, Pabu would want to visit his old home. Isn't that right, buddy?"

The ferret squealed, sticking his pink tongue out.

They made a fair walk to the docks before a bossy firebender stopped the adventure they were about to pursue, "Where are you guys going?"

Korra knew for a fact Mako would resent the idea of them going into the city without him, nevertheless going to the arena, where many attacks happened. It was the heart of many fights, and she knew Mako would still feel unsafe there.

Bolin was too oblivious to lie, "To the arena! Me and Korra are going to get a workout in." Bolin stated enthusiastically.

Korra saw Mako's eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets, "The arena? Bolin, do you even realise how dangerous it is there?"

Bolin shrugged, "Can't be that bad if some parts of the arena are now open."

Mako narrowed his eyes at his brother's smartass response, "Bolin, the reason we had to move out of the arena in the first place was because there was a gas leak from all of the attacks. Besides the broken skylight and hazardous explosive material, there was _literally_ poisonous gas floating all around the place."

Korra noticed long ago Bolin had the nervous habit to turn the situation around on others so he wouldn't get hit with the blame. He had used it to his advantage again.

"If it's good enough for the Avatar, it's good enough for me!"

Mako's eyes rearranged their intense gaze to Korra, " _You_ talked him into this?"

Korra shrugged, "I have been going there for like a month now."

"Of course you have." Mako sighed.

"We're not waiting up, so come along if you want." Korra said, pushing past Mako. Bolin followed, and soon she heard the third pair of footsteps follow their path.

"Wow! I haven't been here in forever." Bolin exclaimed in all possible clarity. His eyes light up upon entering the blazing gold building, looking around at the familiar surroundings.

The trio made their way to the gym area, Korra setting down her bag and immediately jumps into exercising.

Mako's annoying captain role sparked to life after many months of being absent, "You're not even going to stretch first?"

Her eyes glared back annoyingly at him, "No."

Mako retreated to a bench.

"You're not going to do anything?" Bolin asked. A wicked grin spread across his face, "You know, Mako, you could use a workout. Soon enough you're going to lose all your muscle, and Korra won't want you anymore." He poked his brother hard in the ribcage.

A blush from egotistical hurt rose to his face as he heard Korra snickering in the background.

"I am not going to be on the team next year, so there's no point." Mako stated.

Korra suddenly thought of that. She didn't really consider before being on the team again. She definitely thought that it was fun while it lasted, although it was hard to walk in this damned place again without having the irrational fear that Amon was lurking in the dark corners, peeping at her. Studying her moves, and forming more plans to ruin her life. His plans were always supported by how his enemy's moved, it was proved when he was exposed. He always won, because he knew what you were going to do moments before you did it.

It was such a vicious circle they followed when they were trying to formulate plans to defeat Amon. Going around, and around, and around… until they realised they couldn't really beat him in the manner in which they were thinking of.

Korra thought back and realised Amon did ruin her life, though to her graces it was only momentarily.

She remembered all the way back when Amon did take her bending. He truly had destroyed her life. Taking away what she had worked on for thirteen years, she already had the three elements at her disposal. Within seconds he took them away from her. Although she did save Mako from losing his own bending by unlocking her airbending, it wasn't enough.

Just one element, it wasn't enough. Enough to keep the whole world in balance. You needed all four elements to keep the world stable, and only having one element to help did not do justice.

It was the first time ever she contemplating ending things early. The first time she thought of _the other way out._ It was the easy way.

Korra wasn't known for wanting to take the easy way out, though this time is was different. She did have some selfish reasons behind thinking of such an act.

Such as how she had crumbled to nothing after losing all that she had worked for. It all turned to ashes in Amons hands, and he disposed of the fire. He kept the soot for himself, to wave it tauntingly infront of her face to show her that he had taken it all away.

She was nothing. She had crumbled to nothing in his power.

Her pride had been taken away as a result, worthlessness replacing that gaping hole which was once filled with a much warmer ruler.

So, suicide didn't exactly sound that bad. It was an _honor_ to sacrifice oneself to allow someone else replace your position to save the world.

Maybe, all of this is why she was drawn to the steep cliff all the way back at the South Pole. She remembered the raging waves crashing against the cliff side, and it looked like an appetizing way to die. You know, dying surrounded by her true element, the one she had no longer in the moment.

The brutalness of the death was irrelevant, she would die how she wanted. She decided since Amom already had the power to dictate whether or not she needed to commit suicide, she was would dictate the way she did so.

She looked over the cliff that was blanketed with snow. It made her worry though, with all of the slippery ice around, that her death could be mistaken as accident. She refuses to let anyone think that, she wanted _everyone_ to know she was the one who ended her life, willingly. She wanted _everyone_ to know she went down with the very little and imaginary dignity she withheld inside of her.

The way she was going to do this frustrated her.

The raging waters below her turned into a massive blur of blue as tears stung her eyes.

"It's for the world."

"It's for the world."

"It's for the world."

She repeated the phrase several times until it was the only words she could think of. She leaned forward, then stopped. Tried to lean forward over some more, but her body wouldn't budge.

She screamed into the crisp air out of pure frustration, hoping an avalanche would occur and do the justice of killing the ex-avatar, making room for the next one.

her legs buckled underneath her, and she sank down into a fit of sobs.

" _ **These shallow waters, never met  
What I needed  
I'm letting go  
A deeper dive  
Eternal silence of the sea  
I'm breathing  
Alive" **_

Aang had saved her.

But he was wrong.

He was wrong, to say that in that moment, she was at her lowest point. That was a false statement.

She realised now that wishing you weren't alive wasn't rock bottom.

Being at your lowest point, to her, was wishing _oh so_ desperately to _live,_ but only finding the power to barely _survive._

" _ **No food will ever hurt you as much as an unhealthy mind."**_

"What about you, Korra? Are you going to be on next year's team?" Bolin asked. Korra felt bad she has wrongly led him to believe he meant she wanted to train for next year's game.

She swallowed hard, and winced as the saliva irritated the scratches at the back of her throat.

She gave him an apologetic look, "Sorry, Bo."

Bolin went grumbling away to lift some dumbbells.

"Korra, I think you should take a break." Mako said after about an hour of continuous, hardcore exercise on Korra's behalf.

"I'm fine." She shooed him off, continuing on.

A few more minutes, and Mako saw that Korra looked as if she was on the brink of misery.

Perspiration rolled off of her skin, dripping onto the floor.

"Okay, you're done." Mako declared, going over to force Korra up from her pushups. His sudden interruption had her ticked off, but she allowed him to help her up. She got a headrush from standing up quickly, and she held her hands to her head and attempted to focus her eyes on something so the whole room would stop swaying.

"Are you okay?" Mako asked sincerely, keeping a strong hold on her forearm. She yanked her arm away, "Fine. I just need some…" Wait, what was she talking about?

The room violently swayed again, sending her back on the ground. Mako was beside her side within seconds, having a protective hand on her back. Her shirt was sticky with sweat, and he felt her spine…

She felt a wave of nausea block all of her senses. ' _Did I not throw up everything?'_

Sheer panic settled over here.

"I'm going to the bathroom." She dryly said, getting up with one leg at a time. Mako stabilized her, and she denied his assistance to the bathroom as she swayed out of the gym.

She swung the females locker room open, making her way over to the sinks. She nearly slipped from the moisture that lingered on the tiletops from someone who had carelessly let water drip all over the floor after bathing.

She held both sides of the cool sink with her hands, stabilizing herself. ' _There's no way I didn't throw it all up.'_

She took her index and middle finger, sliding the pair down her throat. It took many hurtful jabs to her already sore throat, and lots of tears for the hidden food to finally come back up.

"Hey, Korra? Are you in there? I got you some water." Bolin's voice rang from the door.

She couldn't answer, seeming as her food was just about to come back up.

She could see Bolin's figure appear in the entrance in her peripheral vision.

"Oh!" She could hear the sound of plastic cups hitting the floor.

Bolin had somehow managed to run across the tile without slipping, something in which Korra failed to do. She could feel a hand on her back.

Once she felt she was successful in puking every last bit left, she cried to Bolin "Why are you in here?! This is the _girl's_ locker room, in case you couldn't tell!"

"Sorry, I-uhm thought you said 'okay'." He felt red dusting his cheeks from embarrassment.

"Yes, Bolin! Because someone throwing up sounds _so much_ like 'okay'!" She snapped, pushing Bolin's hand off her.

"Sorry. Do you want me to go get Mako instead?"

She turned to him suddenly, threats ready to be said were apparent in her eyes, "Not a word of this to Mako."

Maybe threatening wouldn't work for Bolin… Maybe she had to use their friendship to manipulate him to keep her secret away from Mako.

Her eyes softened, and she put her hand that was not covered in saliva and his shoulder, "I just don't want him to worry. He will just be much better off. Plus, I am fine. I just overworked myself, is all." She gave him a smile for extra measure.

"I just worry about you, is all." Bolin admitted, searching her eyes. She could tell he was inspecting why her eyes were so wet.

"I know, and I appreciate that. I am fine though, I swear." She smiled a genuine smile this time, her heart warmed by the fact her friend was worried about her.

He suddenly thrust out his hand, his last digit extended, "Pinky promise?"

She grabbed his pinky with hers, shaking on it, "Pinky Promise."

What Bolin didn't understand was apart of their contract was the swear to not tell about what Korra _is_ doing.

.

.

.

Bolin couldn't stand to not tell anyone about his findings. He was sure his eyes didn't play any pesky tricks on him when he walked in to see Korra's fingers halfway down her throat, her gagging.

Bolin's first instinct was to go to his older brother. He had the answers to basically anything, to Bolin's understanding. However, he remembered the promise he had made to Korra.

Asami was up next.

He knocked on her bedroom door one night after dinner, and a voice rang from within the room, "Come in!"

He slid the door open, and shut it behind him. Asami gave him a dazzling smile, "Hey Bolin."

"Hey. I need to talk to you… About Korra." Her smile dulled, something in which Bolin blamed himself for. Asami scooted over on her bed, and pat the now empty space next to her to signal him to sit down.

"I can tell something is wrong. Tell me." Asami said, placing her hand on his.

"Well, yesterday we were at the gym. Korra got sick I guess, and went to the bathroom. When I walked in, I saw that she was sticking her fingers down her throat- I think. And then she threw up. I mean, that's just what I saw." Bolin said.

The room fell into everlasting silence. There wasn't much you could respond with to this. Asami cut the silence in half, "We have to tell Mako…"

Bolin jumped up from his spot on the bed, "No! We can't. I promised Korra I wouldn't tell him."

"Well Bolin we can't just tell no one. Korra is just hurting herself by doing this, we can't just be bystanders to a slow suicide." Asami knew the last part wasn't necessary. It tainted the air around them.

"Well then, what do we do?" Bolin asked weakly, settling back on Asami's bed.

"I don't know…" Her whisper was barely audible.

They both looked up to be met with the mirrored color of eachothers eyes. Emeralds crashing against emeralds.

The atmosphere changed drastically, and the passion twitched with longing release between their gaze.

Their lips crashed against one another, searching desperately for the soft skin.

And in the moment, there was nothing wrong.

.

.

.

Korra flushed the remains of her throw up down the toilet, and she went over to the sink to wash her hands, which were covered in the awful stuff.

' _Ew_.' She thought. She wasn't looking at her hands, but rather her face.

Tears from exhaustion had made their getaway down her face. But she noticed how… Swollen her face looked.

It was mostly in her cheeks, and her neck. Her cheeks looked as if they had swelled up to a flying squirrel-rat. Her throat looked like it had puffed up like when a bearded-dragon does when it gets angry.

Korra knew that the mistake back at the gym could _not_ happen again. She needed a sign, something that could tell her there were no more contents left in her stomach.

Korra noticed that night at dinner a rather colorful shade of red decorated her food. Very noticeable. It was a pepper.

The hypothesis had formed itself in her mind, and she ate all of the tiny red peppers that dotted her plate first. She then ate the rest of her food, and excused herself from Mako's presence.

She threw up for several minutes, however no sign of bright peppers made their appearance.

However, she noted she felt… light. She wouldn't have noticed she didn't throw them up if she hadn't been looking out for it.

She heaved until at last, the red peppers made their existence noticeable again, decorating the white porcelain with streaks of red.

She knew it. This was the problem.

Because it wasn't whether she felt light or not, rather if she _was_ light.

.

.

.

 _Hey there everyone! Chapter 6 is right here at your disposal!_

 _I have so selfishly used Bolin more as a doll than a character. Selfish me, I am going to give myself a slap on the head._

 _Story overview; This whole chapter is a drastic sign of Bulimia; markers. You see, markers are a way bulimics can tell when EVERYTHING is out, by eating food first that has a very particular taste, texture, or look. Without markers, most bulimics would be at a loss._

 _More and more negative symptoms are seeing the light of day as each new chapter comes out, pay attention!_

 _Who would have guessed Bolin would be the one to discover Korra purging first? Well, me. Because I wrote this. But I am assuming you didn't…_

 _Bolin and Asami are obviously starting to come out of their shells after the whole love triangle thing, and would you look at that! They are starting to have feelings for eachother. I couldn't just do nothing with these characters, they deserve a little love, too! And obviously the moment for their first kiss wasn't the most appropriate, but I depicted it was sort of a breather from all the angst and pain I have caused everybody._

 _I will tell you in this moment of time they are not dating, even after that so sweet of a kiss. I wish to torture you even more and hold off that ship._

 _(The very last sentence means a lot, so be sure to ingrain it into your mind!)_

Constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated! Even some of the best stories I have ever read off this site have reviews that depict a few problems. If even the greatest authors on here have some negative reviews, I can only wonder how many people have held their tongues from spewing hatred in my reviews.

Just kidding! Seriously though, leave a review.


	8. The Insomniac

" _ **I think the most common cause of insomnia is simple; it's loneliness."**_

 _ **~Heath Ledger**_

 _One month later…_

"Goodnight, fireboy." Korra insulted her boyfriend, whom she slid under the warm covers next to. Their bodies automatically moved to fit perfectly into each others curves. Korra slid onto her right side, Mako spooning her with his left arm draped over her own.

His fingertips lightly grazed across jagged bones that represented her ribcage. Her ribcage; the setup that was supposed to protect her most vital organs. Now, he was afraid to even touch such a part of her body, in fear the weakening bones would simply turn to dust under his light pressure. They violently poked through her tan skin, begging, even pleading to have just a little bit of fat it can hold onto, to give it just a layer more of protection.

He swore up and down that whenever a gust of wind happened to blow by, he could hear her bones whistling a melody…

"Goodnight." He simply said, ignoring the taunting nickname he had newly adopted.

Korra switched off the lamp next to her bed, and dipped down into the sheets.

Mako had thought about it deeply every night for the past three weeks. Asami and Bolin had told Mako of what Bolin had seen Korra do.

Mako hadn't believed them at first-it was a ludicrous story. To believe that Korra had been forcing herself to throw up everything she ate.

It really had sent a chill down Mako's spine. It turned his vertebrae into an icy cold shock, and the rest of it made its way through his body.

Actually, scratch that. It wasn't that he _couldn't_ believe that Korra was doing something so disturbing. Rather, it was that he simply did not want to believe it.

He didn't want to believe that someone he cared about so much-and someone who _knew_ how much he cared about them would treat themselves so poorly. The shock wore off in no time, and soon enough anger was boiling in his veins.

How could this _stupid girl_ do this? Does she even know what she is doing to herself? Or, is she too _stupid_ to understand that she is starving her body of required nutrients.

Mako had almost walked off in readiness to go yell and scream at Korra about this situation. He could feel his angered heart pump his boiling blood so loud that it pounded in his ears.

Asami and Bolin had not seen Mako so aggressive, or so angry. His cool under fire attitude had taken a backseat the second he heard the words, allowing a new driver to completely spin his logic out of order.

"Mako, stop!" Bolin pleaded, gripping his older brother's arm with immense strength. Apparently, it wasn't enough, seeing as he was being dragged across the floor by a raging Mako.

Seeing as a physical altercation would not stop Mako from making a horrible mistake, Asami quickened her pace, running in front of Mako.

"Mako, stop." Her voice leaked of threats. She aimed her green eyes to look straight into the blazing fire that was Mako's, not daring to look away.

"I need to talk to her." Mako clenched his teeth, his jaw setting in a way that slightly scared Asami.

"Oh yeah? And what are you doing to say to change her?" Asami asked in a taunting way.

"I don't know! I'll-" Mako stopped abruptly. Never did he ever have a thought cross his mind about touching Korra in a hurtful way. He could never do that to her, no matter how strong the girl appeared. He would rather hurt himself in some way, than touch Korra hurtfully.

He cursed his mind as thoughts of slapping Korra on her hand, like a naughty child for her actions raced through. He knew, even in the heat of the moment, that he would _never_ do something like that to her. It would, by far, hurt him more than it would ever hurt her. He shut down his mind away from physical altercations.

However, he really did want to give the girl a good shake for her wrongdoing. Possibly shake some sense into her, because right now loving the sense into her seemed like a damn hard thing to do.

"Exactly. Mako, we can't go waltzing in there with little evidence and accuse Korra. It will just make things worse, and before you know it her condition will spiral out of control." Asami said, her emerald eyes slightly cracking with sympathy as new hope flooded her Irises.

"If it already hasn't." Mako negatively suggested. His body slightly relaxed, and he found the wall to his side, turning his back to it and using it as an elevator to sit down on the ground.

Raging anger still pulsed through him. Korra didn't even _understand_ how much she meant to him. Then, she goes and does this to herself? Knowing full well that she was regressing her health, lying bluntly to his face, and walking around like there's nothing wrong in the world. It was what _she_ had control over, only what _she_ wanted.

 _Selfish bitch._

It reminded him of how he felt when he saw his parents killed right in front of him. Initial shock was what he felt first, denying that the pool of red liquid around his parents was their blood.

Anger flooded him, and he was soon slapping and hitting his parent's bodies, yelling at them over and over about how they couldn't leave him and Bolin. It wasn't in their right to do so- they were their parents, and _they needed_ them. He screamed at their bodies for ages, soon enough realising they were indeed not coming back to save him and Bolin.

He took Bolin, who was cowering in the corner, and left. Never looking behind him again at the bloody scene.

His anger at his parents premature goodbye lasted years, tormented by the thought that they were the people who had forced him and Bolin out on the street; forcing them to enter survival mode too early.

It took awhile, but those resentful feelings slowly faded away, and pure self-hatred replaced the hole in his heart. Self-hatred that stemmed from the thought he _could have_ saved his parents, he _could have_ done something… _more_ to stop this outcome.

That self-resentment still resided within him to this day.

He promised himself in that moment that there would never be ' _could have'_ with Korra. It was a ring of promise to Korra, also. That he would not let her down.

However, it was hard to not feel like he had already failed her so. He was _right_ there, the whole time. By her side. He wanted to punch himself for not seeing something further so in Korra's behavior. He wanted to shake her for not coming to him with her problems. Then, he wanted to punch himself again for realising that if she _truly_ trusted him, she would have told him already. He pinned the blame back on himself, _I am obviously not trustworthy_.

Anger still boiling in his veins, he thought selfishly about how the situation between his parents death and Korra's slow death was different.

His parents couldn't help their death, it wasn't their fault.

Meanwhile, Korra is killing herself.

Too many emotions tainted his brain, squeezing it in stress. He groaned, slumping more against the wall.

"I can't believe I never noticed." Mako finally groaned.

"Korra never would have let you notice. It's not your fault, bro." Bolin sympathized, sliding down next to Mako, copying Asami's actions.

"Then why did you, Bolin, of _all_ people, find out?" Mako asked.

Bolin shrugged, "I found her by accident."

Asami rubbed Mako's shoulder in comfort, "It is obvious she is not being too careful."

"That's Korra, alright." Bolin jokes.

"So what do we do?" Mako sighed, running his hands through his hair. For once in his life, he didn't know what to do. He was at a loss. Even when him and Bolin were out on the streets, in the middle of trouble, Mako always had a plan. He always had a way out.

And of course, the first time he felt ever so lost was to Korra's doing.

" _Mako?" Korra called out, using her elbow as a support as she carefully got up. She looked around the room, and it was strangely darker than usual…_

 _The sheets beside her where Mako usually was, were now cold and lifeless without the heat of his body residing. She traced her fingertips across the silky cold surface, racking her brain for possibilities on where her boyfriend could have gone._

 _It was so much unlike him to just up and leave._

 _She spun around on her bed, her body twisting even more in the blankets. She thought she heard some footsteps…_

" _Mako?"_

 _She was starting to get worried… This situation was close to twinning a dream she had many months ago…_

 _Suddenly, she felt a painfully sharp and tight wire aggressively grab at her wrist. She sprung up immediately, turning her wrist and causing painful friction between her skin and the wire, making a painful cut. She grabbed the wire, pulling it forward with all her might. The man dressed in equalist uniform tripped forward, and landing on his chest gave Korra the upperhand. She jumped down on top of him, expecting more to appear._

 _In the dark corner, another appeared, running up at her side. She quickly used her free hand to shoot a fireball, however the equalist cut right down the middle of her attack. She used her semi-functioning hand to fire another one, as she worried about another one that had appeared in the opposite corner._

 _She kicked the guy to her left as hard as she could in the spot she_ _ **knew**_ _would hurt. A gasp escaped from him, and he toppled on himself, holding his privates in pain. As soon as he was on the floor, another took his spot. She knew she was outnumbered far beyond what she saw._

" _Avatar state, avatar state, avatar state." Korra repeated out loud, trying to focus. Nothing came._

 _No glowing eyes, no overwhelming sense of power, nothing._

 _In light of her short distraction, the equalist she thought she had pinned under her with her foot had awaken from his leave of absence, yanking Korra down into the spot he once accompanied._

 _As fast as she was on the floor, her bending was temporarily blocked as she felt quick and sharp jabs hit muscles all over her body._

 _She was down._

 _They had violently lifted her up to meet the mask that she hasn't seen in months. She gasped in surprise as true terror leaked from her cerulean eyes, which pierced the dark._

 _It was almost as if he had appeared out of thin air, right in front of her. Even behind the safety blanket of his mask, she could feel his grin radiating from his face._

" _Hello, young avatar." His voice was just was just as scratchy and terrifying as she remembered._

" _It has been long since we have met again." He commented._

 _Korra hissed as the fictitious wires behind her tightened, definitely causing wounds._

" _You may have been spared of your bending, out of a pure blessing from the spirits to save your impotent self, but you will_ _ **never**_ _escape your mind."_

 _He continued, "Nor will you ever escape the selfish need to feed yourself. And, most importantly, you will_ _ **never**_ _escape me."_

" _So, young avatar, let's eat." The finality in his voice caused Korra's heart to drop even further, and she saw in his hand an innocent, red apple._

 _She tugged against the wires savagely, "No!"_

 _Too much weight held her down, yet she fought as long and as hard as she could in order to not take a bite._

" _No no no no!" She yelled over and over again, trying to topple onto the ground._

Her high pitched scream pierced the calming atmosphere of reality, and she shot straight up in the bed. Her back, wet from perspiration, kissed the cool night air. She shuddered, breathing heavy gulps of air.

Mako had been awake already with heavy thoughts weighing down his fatigue. He shot up along with Korra's body. His hand found her back, where her skin was sticky damp against his.

"Mako?" Korra jumped at the contact that grazed her back.

"It's okay, Korra. I am right here." Mako said. She whipped her head to the left of her, and Mako barely dodged the wall of thick hair coming at him.

Korra's wrist grazed the blanket ever so slightly, and she winced from the negative contact. She looked down at her wrists, which were red and almost bleeding from wounds she had accidentally inflicted on herself. She was scratching herself in her sleep.

Her face pained him; all he could see, due to the minimal lights of moonlight coming in through the window. He saw pure freight, and it never compared to the faces he had seen on Bolin in the past.

He could feel the vibrations of her trembling, and he could see the quiver of her lips, a sign that she was about to break down.

"Korra?" He asked, rubbing his hands up and down her back.

She finally broke down, twisting her body to face Mako. She threw herself at him, burying her shocked face into his bare chest. She shuddered against him, throwing her arms around his torso tightly. His shock quickly escaped, and he wrapped his arms around her, protectively. He let her cry into his chest for a while, not bothering to wipe away the salty tears that trailed down his chest.

He stroked his hand lovingly through her tangled hair, never letting his grip on her go.

Once she calmed down a bit, he decided to ask. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Not lifting her face up to his, she stayed in the comfort of his skin. She nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. He _really_ wanted to get some answers out of her, but definitely wouldn't push her.

Her head shook.

"He won't leave." Korra's trembling voice broke the silence.

"He won't leave… He won't leave… He won't _ever_ leave." She repeated, rocking back and forth in an attempt to soothe herself.

"Who? Who won't leave?" Mako asked, his hands now protectively around her bony shoulders.

She shook her head furiously, causing remaining tears to fly. She shakily lay her head down on Mako's thigh, shutting her eyes in an attempt to block out everything around her. She didn't say anything after that.

He sighed, repositioning himself against the wall. He snaked his hands down to her waist, forcing her up further onto the bed. She obliged, helping him move her so she wouldn't fall off the edge. He sat up against the wall, and Korra positioned herself so her head could lean against his chest; she so desperately wanted to hear the lullaby of his heart. She got on her side, and pressed her ear up to his beating heart. She closed her eyes, entranced by the sound.

He took the blanket that was to the side of him, covering both him and Korra with it. Although the other half of his body wasn't getting coverage, he knew he wasn't getting anymore sleep tonight.

Not even fifteen minutes in, he felt his back ache in annoyance at the position he was in.

This was going to be a long night…

.

Korra opened her swollen and sensitive eyes, trying to blink away the clips of sunlight that was coming in through the open window.

She stilled as something she was leaning against moved slightly. She tilted her head up to be met with the sight of Mako's chin.

 _Oh yeah…_

She moved slightly, trying to untangle herself from the forest of blankets and limbs around her.

"Y'know, you can tell me you want to get up instead of ditching me." Mako reminded, sarcasm undertoning his voice.

Korra cringed and shut her eyes, "Sorry. Thought you were sleeping."

"In this position? I would have to give the spirits a sacrifice for the privilege of falling asleep right here."

Korra laughed as she sat up, clutching the quilt to her chest and turning to look at Mako.

"Spirits, you really didn't sleep, did you?" She locked eyes with him, staring deep into the reddened and bloodshot mess. His hair, not yet tamed this morning, was twisting in all sorts of directions.

He shook his head, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand.

"Well, maybe you should get some sleep now." Korra said as she got up from the bed, offering her spot to the firebender.

He caught her arm as she spun around to head to the washroom, "Tell me about last night."

Her heart dropped. She was hoping he would simply just let it be. She wanted the dream to be forgotten, throw it out the window she woke up to.

"I am going to go take a shower." She simply stated, pulling her hand away from his and walking to the washroom ungracefully.

She slid the door closed, sighing. He didn't _need_ to know anything. Nothing past what she whispered to him in fear last night. Even _that_ was going too far, and she knew he would be dwelling over that until the end of time, if she didn't tell him.

And she had no plans to.

She waited impatiently while the water heated up. She went over to the mirror, allowing her towel to drop and pool around her feet.

She could almost see all of them. She could almost see all twelve of her ribs. They were ruthlessly poking from her skin, and she knew that it was destined they would break through her thinning skin in no time.

 _Outgrowing my skin_

She looked down to find an ever so luscious thigh gap. No more skin rubbing on skin. She went down to pinch at the remaining skin, however her fingertips were brutally met with bone.

 _Perfect!_

Rubbing her hands up and down over her protruding hip bones, her hands went up over her ribcage and over her breasts.

She noticed they definitely shrunk- and quite a lot, actually- and she liked it. She now had to wrap her breast bindings several times around her body; plenty more than she had to before.

She rubbed her hands over her breasts one more time, satisfied with the progression. She had noticed the past few months that strangely nothing turned her on anymore. Surely, she hasn't pleasured herself in a while, and rubbing her hands over such a sensitive part of her body would have definitely made her excited. However, she simply was _not_ feeling in _that_ mood.

She bent down and picked her towel from the floor, dusting floor particles off of it, setting it down on the counter. Noticing the sauna-like feeling in the the thick and hot air, she got in the shower.

She let a moan escape past her lips as hot water licked at her sensitive skin. She let herself naturally stand in the pressure of the hot water, letting it knead into her sore muscles.

She ran a hand through her hair, and felt… something. She looked down in horror to find a huge clump of hair tangled around her fingers.

She ripped the hair away from her hand, leaving some broken pieces plastered to her wet hand.

She threw it on the ground, hoping the river of water would take it down the drain.

Shakily, she ran a hand through the same spot once again. A smaller, yet still terrifying clump stuck to her hand. She threw it on the ground similar to its sibling, and she ran her hand through the same spot over and over until no more was coming out.

She speedily finished her shower, making sure no clumps of hair was to present themselves to Mako if he were to come in. She went over to the mirror, where fog shunned her from her reflection. She quickly used her hand to wipe the fog away. She let her towel fall carelessly as she searched the right side of her head for hair loss.

She checked the layers upon layers of her hair, not finding a bald spot. She finally allowed herself to take a big gulp of thick air, shivering at the thought she had created a bald spot.

She swiped her towel off of the floor, and used it as a padded seat on the edge of the bathtub as she quickly dressed herself.

She slid the door open, and cold air rushed at her with frightening readiness, leaving her freezing underneath the layers of clothing.

Mako was nowhere in sight, and she sighed, blaming herself for Mako's lack of sleep. She secretly knew anyway he probably wouldn't go back to sleep.

She quickly combed her damp hair, and at the end of her grooming she noticed more hair than usual came out.

.

"What does that even mean? 'He won't leave'?" Bolin mimicked the words Korra had supposedly said during last night's situation.

"I'm not exactly sure, but I am pretty sure I can guess…" Mako sighed. He explained further, "Just a longshot, but maybe she is having recurring nightmares about Amon." Mako looked up to his friend's and his brother's expressions, mirroring the same puzzled look he had.

"Maybe…"

Korra always had nightmares. It was expected, being through a traumatizing experience and all. She of course had nightmares previous to her… * _ahem*_ problem.

However, last night's terror was… different. You see, her dreams post to the incident mainly consisted of her bending being taken repeatedly. Or, it could be Mako's bending being taken away, once again. In her usual dreams, she couldn't get to Mako fast enough, unlike what had happened in reality.

She knew these dreams were useless and pretty pathetic, to be put lightly. Even if Amon had come back to take her bending away, she would more than likely get it back, just like last time. If Mako's bending was taken away, she could easily return it with a simple whisk of her hand. It was a problem that could be solved. The solution was at her fingertips.

However, it didn't make it any less scary. She never wanted to see that madman ever again. He has given her so much fear, so many problems, and so much pain that even thinking about him sent her into fits of panic attacks.

She didn't think she could face him again and come out the other side alive.

Not because what he would or might do, rather it would be something of her own doing that would cause her to die. She couldn't go through the emotionally damaging experience again of facing him.

Spirits, he wasn't even a direct threat anymore, and she was more scared of him than ever.

' _I am so pathetic.'_

It was honestly just another reminder on how she failed the world in her dreams…

Last night's dream was the first time her enemy had ever attacked her with the awful dread of eating food…

It was a torture, really. The torturous trap of her own mind. To be force fed, nevertheless by _Amon!?_ The imaginary ruler of her mind that has forced her to neglect her body of basic needs. Not to mention she was still a dying player in the game that was still going on between them.

Even in her mind, he was forcing her to lose the game.

She had decided that he didn't deserve the power and the utter pleasure that was brought to him by controlling her mind to the extent that she lost the game in her hopeless dreams.

So, she was content with never going to sleep.

It was going to be quite easy, really. Who needs sleep, anyway?

She _wasn't_ going to let him have that power of her.

 _What she didn't understand through the clouded 'logic' in her mind, was that he already held a certain power over her…_

 _The power to control her mind._

She _wanted_ to win.

She _could_ win

.

.

.

She _will_ win.

" _ **We clean our plates, yet we're still famished-starving for something other than food."**_

 _ **~Kate Wicker**_

Korra got in the shower right before bed, she needed the extra boost of energy a cold shower would offer her.

She was comforted by the fact that clumps of hair wasn't falling out of her head.

 _At least, not as much._

The cold drops of her natural element rained all over her. Although she very much enjoyed the warmth and exhilarating feeling of firebending, her natural element was always a nurturing touch to her hurting soul. It touched her with a motherly tenderness, tickling at her soul. The water calmed her, yet the coldness kept her awake and stable, not allowing herself to drift off elsewhere.

She stepped out of the tub, water droplets freely traveling down her body and dripping on the tiled floor.

Not bothering to waterbend the water off, or care to call for Mako to get her a towel, (she had forgotten one, and although it was pleasant fun to see him squirm uncomfortably as he gave a nude Korra a towel, she wasn't up for that at the moment), she quickly slipped into a long-sleeved grey shirt that buttoned up with only two buttons at the top. She threw on some matching gray sweatpants, and immediately went over to the mirror and checked the layers upon layers of hair that decorated her head.

After not finding anything too serious, such as large bald spots, she carefully started to drag the brush through her hair and opened the bathroom door while doing so.

She found Mako on the bed, fiddling with the ties of his sweatpants.

She knew what most people were thinking. That they thought the so-called _great avatar_ is a slut for sleeping with another man that was a year older than her, nonetheless in her teenage years. Truth be told, they have crossed very few boundaries.

Kiss in bed? Check.

Make out in bed? Check.

Removed any articles of clothing? Eh, no…

It wasn't that Korra was too docile to move across that line, rather the fact that Mako _was._ Korra could barely lift her shirt up just a little bit above her belly button without receiving a groan of disapproval from the young firebender, his eyes shunning away from her body.

Korra often makes fun of his innocence. Really though, she appreciates it. To sleep next to a sexually mature woman, every single night, not yet to initialize anything sexual? That self control should be applauded.

He obviously obtains more self control than her. She can't even eat anything without throwing it up…

 _No, it is he who lacks self-control. It takes a certain power to resist the selfish, human need of eating._

She thinks this darkly, her eyes suddenly being blanketed by a black cover. She feels her legs give out, and she collapses on the floor.

It must've been a second. Only one, really. However, that second had to have passed slowly, seeing as when she opened her eyes, Mako was cradling her head in his arms, shaking her and calling her name.

"What happened? What happened?" Mako asks over and over.

"Korra, what happened? Wake up."

Although she sat up slowly, it gave her an intense head rush, and she realised her head hit the floor so hard that it left her with a pounding ache.

She tried to stand up, but Mako quickly pulled her back down on the ground. She jerked her head over at him, her stubbornness not being tamed at the look of concern that loomed on his face.

She jerked her arm away from his grip aggressively, standing up in defiance.

Mako got up with ease alongside her, and he noticed how frighteningly shaky her legs were with weakness.

"Nothing. I just tripped." She lied, dusting the floor particles off her.

"Never heard of someone trip while standing still." Mako admitted, knowing immediately she was lying.

She looked up at him, smiled, then winked at him as she joked, "Only I could manage to do that, right?"

She almost physically cringed when she realised he wasn't laughing at her self-deprecating joke, nor was he even smiling. His eyes were hard, unmoving and expressionless.

"You passed out." He stated truthfully, his eyes were trying to force the words into her conscious to let her know _this shouldn't be happening,_ and _we need to do something about this,_ and _this can't go on any longer._

Fine, if he wanted to play like that, she would too.

She hardened her eyes, turning the water into ice.

"Did not."

"Yes, you did."

"Pretty sure I would know if I passed out."

"Obviously not."

She didn't let his words have any affect on her.

She bent down to quickly grab the brush off of the floor before giving Mako a daring look, and heading back into the bathroom.

Mako shook his head, at a complete loss with this woman. He sauntered back to the bed, rolling on his side to have a slight view of Korra who was brushing her hair and looking in the mirror. Though his eyes weren't on her all of the time, he kept an eye on her to make sure she didn't ' _trip'_ again. One knock to the head on a counter could be the end of you. Even to someone as great and powerful as the Avatar.

Mako almost audibly sighed with relief as he felt the bed dip with Korra's weight. No walking or standing meant no possible way for her to hit her head on something if she were to faint again.

She turned on her side, facing away from him and her arm stretched to turn off the lamp. With a click, they were alone, with the exception of darkness being their third party.

Mako curled his body closer to hers. An instinct that he couldn't deny took control, and he stuffed his nose into her damp hair, smelling it.

"Your hair smells nice." He breathed, hoping to sever the connections of lies and anger that had squirmed its way into their relationship the past few months.

"I know."

He kept his nose buried in her hair for several minutes, loving the clean and fresh scent she gave off.

Mako had always been like this. As creepy and uncivilized and animalistic it had seemed to be, Mako liked to smell the ones he was close to.

It had all started with his mother.

 _Flashback_

 _Mako had been following his mother around the entire day, helping her with various tasks. He was undeniably a mama's boy, loving to help his mother in every aspect._

 _He had noticed a nice, sweet, yet docile scent that intruded his senses as he was exceptionally close to her, perched on the counter, drying off the dishes she handed to him with a towel._

" _Mommy, you smell nice." He complimented her just as he finished drying off one of the last dishes._

" _Thank you sweety. It's my perfume." Then, she reeled her head closer to his, cupping her hand around her mouth to signal that the words she was about to say were supposed to be secretive, "Daddy doesn't like this one."_

 _His eyes widened with shock as he turned to look at his dad, who was facing the other way on a chair, reading through the mornings newspapers._

" _Why not?" Mako whispered with shock, and he heard his mother giggle at how utterly offended Mako was by her words._

" _Daddy says flower scents don't fit me." She whispers back at him._

" _Well, daddy's wrong." Mako said._

 _His mother kissed his forehead gently, "Thank you, sweetheart. Now, finish that dish you have in your hand."_

 _He did as she told him, and suddenly his father spoke up, "I heard every little thing you two said."_

 _His mother burst out laughing, and his dad spun around in his chair to face the pair._

" _And yes, Naoki, floral scents don't fit you."_

" _Which is exactly why I wore it." She turned to Mako, her face flushed from laughter, "You see, my young man, daddy is always wrong. Always. Mommy is always right. This is a lesson to daddy that you shouldn't argue with mommy over anything."_

" _It was just one suggestion that you should separate colors and whites!" His father exclaimed, and although he slammed his newspaper down in defiance, he had a smile on his face._

" _I don't follow the rules. Also, since I do all of the laundry, it is my divine right to do whatever I shall with the clothes." His mother had always been defiant, always wanting things to be done her way. She truly didn't follow any rules._

 _She sauntered over to him, sitting on his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck, giving him a peck on the lips._

" _Ew!" Mako exclaimed, blocking the disgusting action away from the innocence in his eyes._

 _His parents chuckled, "You're right, Mako! Can you smell this awful perfume all the way over there, too? Get off of me, woman! I am dying from the overbearing smell!" He saw as his father lightly pushed his wife off his lap, and she went tumbling on the floor._

 _His mom gave off a sound of a cry and a laugh at the same time as she found her way back up onto her feet again, "You're going to pay for that later." A daring glint was in her eyes, and she was smiling wickedly._

" _I can count on it" He said, smiling back up at her._

" _It's not even that strong." She concluded, walking back over to Mako, who was still sitting on the counter. She hooked her hands under his arms, and helped him off of the counter._

" _Yes, it is!" He then turned his attention to Mako, "Son, if you ever want to find your mother, simply start smelling, guarantee you will find her then!"_

 _His mom laughed as a response._

 _End of flashback._

He did. Even though his father was only joking, he took that as a method of a way of finding her. He had memorized every perfume she used. Every night he had a nightmare, he would run to his parents room with quivering legs, begging them to let him sleep in their bed, _just for tonight_.

He would bury his face in his mothers chest. Although the perfume she had put on that morning had already dulled by the time it was night, it still slightly lingered on her skin. Immediately upon smelling the scent, he had calmed down, and would fall asleep within five minutes flat.

Although Korra didn't wear perfume, in the statement of defense that it was _too girly,_ she had a scent of her own that he absolutely loved. His instinct to smell her every now and then was very controlling, and he would find ways to slip it by, such as randomly giving her a hug. He knew people would find it weird and very odd, so he never told anyone about the urge he has to start bearing down on people and start sniffing them like a wild animal.

However, there had been a few odd times where he would walk into the bathroom that they shared, and he was practically smacked in the face by a cloud of floral scent. Although he did find it weird, he didn't have time to think about it before he nearly broke down upon smelling it. It was an intense trigger for him, and he would run out of the bathroom, nearly in tears. Not from the fragrance stinging his eyes, but rather the memory of his mother haunting him.

He couldn't handle it…

It reminded him too much of the moment they had died. His mother, who defiantly put on the floral scent that morning, much to her husband's dismay, was lying cold and motionless on the floor.

Mako had smelled her, to make sure that it was his mother, who was lying on the floor. Sure, he could simply look at her face and see if it was true. But he needed something further to prove it. Prove that this was his mother. Prove that she would be fine, that they would all wake up the next morning, and he would smell his mother, who was tagged with whatever perfume she chose.

However, he was horrified to realise that the scent of _Lilac in the spring_ was accompanied by the awful smell of blood. Fresh, warm blood leaked from her torso, drowning out the comforting scent Mako had come to know and love. He noticed another distinctive smell, and it was one of burnt flesh.

He tried desperately to keep hold of the scent as he shook and hit his mother's body. The perfume smell was there for a while…

Then even that faded away.

That was the exact moment Mako realised everything _wouldn't be okay._ That there would be no more mornings where he would be greeted with a pleasant fragrance.

That they were dead.

Mako curled his body even closer to Korra's, squeezing his eyes shut with resistance against the tears that invaded. He tried to focus on the smell of cucumber conditioner that had left traces behind in her hair. He calmed down slightly upon smelling it.

He realised he had a pretty good grip on her side, and had blushed as he noticed his entire body was smashed against Korra's bony back and her backside.

"Look, I know you love me, but could you tone it down so I can breathe?" Korra joked, trying to squirm out of his iron-grip.

"Sorry." He released his grip, but still let his arm drop over her side.

He realised all the things he saw his parents do had affected numerous things in his life, especially his relationship with Korra.

He had suspected his lack of intimate advances traced all the way back to a moment in his childhood.

 _Flashback_

 _Mako was happily walking next to his parents, holding the hand of his five-year-old brother. They both happily licked at their lollipops, following their parents on the sidewalk._

 _His father stopped suddenly, causing a chain reaction upon the family as they all halted their steps. Mako was about to ask his father what the problem was, when he noticed his hard and intense stare in a specific direction. He followed his father's gaze, tracing it to a man and a woman._

 _The woman, who was a pretty creature, had her back against a wall. A man, who has a cigarette sticking out of his mouth, was doing something… weird._

 _Mako noticed that he was awfully close to her face, and the look she gave was that she was uncomfortable at how self-inviting he was into her personal space._

 _She gave him an uncomfortable nod, smiling a fake and urgent smile, and tried to slip her way past him. He pressed the palm of his hand flatly against the wall to block her._

 _Mako saw as her body turned rigid when he brought his hand to her waist, then slid down to her hips, letting the natural curve lead him to her ass. He then went and rubbed her waist once again, bringing his hands up and using his fingertips to graze along the outline of her breast. Although she was fully and modestly clothed, the man found where a part of her breast bindings were, and hooked his finger underneath it, pulling it slightly and letting go for it to come back and slap at her skin._

" _I bet you like that, don't you, you whore?" The man said, giving a toothless, creepy smile._

" _Stay here." His dad said, walking over to the man and swinging him around._

 _Mako looked up to his mother, "Mom, what is a-" His sentence was cut off as he saw the fire burn in his mothers eyes that spoke of don't-you-dare-say-that-word._

 _He gulped, swallowing the word down his throat._

 _He looked back at the conflict. The man was waving his arms around, "Well, since the slut is yours, I will be on my way." He tipped his hat ungraciously at the lady, who was visibly shaking. He then signed his father a specific finger in the air before he went stumbling off._

 _His mother pushed him and Bolin forward once the creepy man was out of sight._

" _Are you okay ma'am?" His father asked, looking at the lady with concern._

 _She gulped, looking at him for a few seconds before nodding her head._

 _They stood and waited for their father while he gave her directions on different roads she could use to navigate to her workplace, instead of walking down this road again, which is most definitely where the creeper basked._

 _She thanked him tremendously before nodding at his wife, and giving the two brothers a smile. She walked down the rest of the road before making a turn, disappearing out of sight._

 _That's when his father turned to his two children, and kneeled down to their eye level._

" _Let this be a lesson to you, my sons. You shouldn't - no." He quickly corrected himself, "You_ _ **won't**_ _ever treat a lady like that. You never touch a lady like that, you never speak to a lady like that, and you never treat a lady like that. What that man just did," His father pointed down the street to where the man supposedly stumbled off to, "was wrong. Don't ever do that to a woman. You hear?" He looked deep into his son's eyes, making sure they knew._

 _The two boys nodded as they looked into their father's eyes with promise._

" _Good. Let's go home."_

 _End of flashback_

Mako stood by his promise to his dad. Even if he never did promise him that, Mako was (now) a man of high morals, something he most definitely inherited from his father.

He knew his dad didn't include _all_ of those rules when a woman willingly gives herself to you. Korra had done quite a few provocative things. She gave him several chances to take a peek at her body when it was barely clothed, however he never took the chance, trying to politely shun her exposed body as he stuck by his promise to always treat a lady like a lady, which even meant not to lust after her body.

She never took it personally, laughing and shoving him on the shoulder before _actually_ getting dressed in modest clothing.

However, things were… changing. Mako moved his hand further, positioning it on her stomach.

Oh spirits, were those her ribs?

He noticed her breath hitched, and her hand came up on his to politely move it from her stomach, placing it instead on the curve of her waist. He accepted where she had moved his hand to.

She didn't want his hand _there._ Not on the flats of her stomach, where he could possibly brush up upon _any_ fat that may still be lingering.

She noticed how cold she was, despite the warm clothes that dangled on her weakened frame. She pulled the blanket up closer around her, clutching it as if it was fighting off the coldness around.

Soon enough, she heard Mako's breathing slow down, his body unmoving. He didn't snore. He never did, and Korra was thankful for that. She found the loud breathing annoying, and would possibly plug Mako's mouth in the middle of the night if he did snore. She slightly laughed at the thought of how Mako's face would look with drool seeping out of his mouth, sounds unhitched in his throat as they boomed in what would be a silent night.

However, here she was, laying next to a very silent Mako.

She made it through the night without a blink of sleep.

She made it for quite a couple of days without any sleep, and on the third day she began to hallucinate.

Even in the sun-lit corners of the temple, dark shadows emerged from and jumped at her.

Her reaction was always the same; jump away from it, however when she jerked her head towards where it had come from, nothing was ever there.

Mako and Korra had walked out from the bedroom, making their way to the kitchens. The teenagers usually slept in a little later than the rest of the family, which gave them even more of a reason to suspect that the teenagers were getting far more intimate than they really were.

Tenzin especially grumbled about this. When he found out Mako was sleeping in Korra's bed rather than in his own, across the island, in the male dormitories, he was absolutely infuriated.

He yelled at the pair, talking on and on about how _they were too young for this_ , and _tide this off 'till marriage_.

However, Korra made it a point that she was her own woman, seeing as she just turned eighteen; officially an adult. He argued back at her that she was still a child nonetheless. _Age has nothing to do with maturity, blah blah blah._

He was even more uncomfortable with the fact that Mako was a young man; nineteen, who more than likely had a high libido. Tenzin was well familiar of how guys liked to take advantage of girls, and he really wanted to wait when Jinora's time came around where she would be attracting boys. However, biology didn't obey a fathers wishes, and her body has already started to develop that into young woman.

Teenagers were awful to handle.

Tenzin didn't let it go, making it a point that what they were doing was irresponsible. He walked off, his head bright as a tomato.

 _Flashback_

" _I can't believe Korra and that… boy are sleeping in the same bed together." Tenzin complained to his wife as they unwound, settling down in their beds for the night. Pema was sitting on the side of the bed, rubbing lotion on her hands._

" _Dear, Korra is her own person. The best thing to do is let her have a bit of freedom." His wife replied with wisdom._

 _He sighed, realising that his wife's words were identical to Korra's. He could just imagine his wife listening around the corner, not bothering to help him in the battle between a forty-two year old man and an eighteen-year-old teenage girl. She probably walked off in a laughing fit, clutching her abdomen._

" _We just don't need another baby to take care of." He said._

 _His wife turned to look at him, the sheets twisting around with the movement of her body, "You think they're having sex?" The question was blunt, and when Tenzin nodded slightly, his wife began to quake and cry with laughter._

" _Why wouldn't they be? They have every reason to!" He raised his voice in defense, looking stoned-face at his wife, who was gripping on the nightstand to keep from barreling on the floor with weakened laughter._

 _They really did. Korra's room was on a strip that was practically empty, except for Asami's room that was all the way down at the end of the hall. Her room was away from most life, concealed._

 _With such freedom, and with so many hormones that teenagers were saturated in; boys being showered in testosterone, and girls bathing in monumental amounts of serotonin, there is almost no chance they haven't done anything yet._

" _I just hope that_ _ **boy**_ _isn't pressuring her into anything." Tenzin sighed. Korra was like a third daughter to him. He feels like he had adopted her - he practically had, taking her into his home. And now, thinking that she was sexually active and grown up made him sad and slightly angry at the same time._

" _Dear, when was the last time you saw Korra do anything she didn't want to do?"_

 _He thought of it for a second, and when he didn't respond with an answer, Pema spoke up._

" _See? Korra would never do anything she didn't want to do. She will be fine." Pema assured her husband, laying down on the bed._

 _His arm instinctively went around her waist, he sighed. "I guess you're right."_

" _I always am." She teasingly joked, giving him an innocent peck on the lips before clicking off the lamp._

 _End of flashback_

Tenzin only had to hope that Korra was smart enough to not do anything. He let the subject drop, and he didn't bother to pick it up again.

Korra and Mako sat side by side at the table that was already prepared and shining with wonderful food.

Mako had dug right in, looking over to Korra periodically, who took a miniscule bite every time he bothered to look over at her.

In the crowd of laughter and cheerful talking, Korra heard a voice through it all, "Let's eat young avatar…"

She heard the voice to her left, and she was sure that Mako had said it, considering he was sitting right next to her.

"What?" She didn't think she heard what he said right. She directed the question at him, tilting her head his direction, though she kept her eyes on the food on her plate, which she was mixing around like usual.

"I said, let's eat young avatar."

She froze.

She felt a cold rush spike through her body, carrying fear to every limb. Her body turned insanely cold; colder than it was last night.

He couldn't be back, could he? No, he couldn't be… Because she couldn't handle it if he was.

She screams internally.

 _Nonononono!_

She craned her neck slowly, and her eyes came up to be met with the mask of Amon.

She noticed the corners of her eyesight had dimmed from a colorful parade to a black abyss.

It was him; it was Mako. But it wasn't. The bright red of his scarf caught her eye, but she looked up back up to his head and saw the frightening mask.

She stood up so fast her knee bumped the table, giving it a good shake and causing a few cups to fall over. She backed up away from the table in small steps, and everyone saw the look of freight and horror on her face.

She backed up so far she pressed against the wall.

"What did you say?" She asked the question, looking directly at the mask. Her teeth grinded together in anticipation, and her knees felt ready to buckle.

"I said; _are you feeling alright_." Mako repeated.

It was his. It was his voice. But why was she still staring at a face that wasn't his?

She blinked, and it was gone.

She was now staring wide-eyed at the concerned face of her boyfriend. She saw him get up, and slowly advance towards her with caution.

She let him get close to her, staring and not blinking at his face to make sure it would _stay that way._

She noticed out of the corner of her eye the several pairs of eyes that were staring at the scene.

She saw a figure stand up, and make an approach to her the same way Mako did.

"Korra, are you feeling alright?" The airbending master asked her, looking at her in concern. Her face was pale, and her eyes were horribly bloodshot. She had bags under her eyes, and her weight loss made them even that much more noticeable from the excess amounts of sagging skin.

She took a gulp before peeling her eyes away from Mako, looking over to Tenzin and nodding her head slightly. Her mouth was slightly open, gasping for the air she had withheld from her lungs.

"You look tired. Did you sleep last night?" Tenzin asked.

She shook her head, swallowing again.

"When was last time you slept?"

A blanket of fog suddenly settled over here mind, and she drew a blank.

She closed one of her eyes in intense thought.

 _How long had it been?_

She took a shuddering breath, "Uhm… Three days?" It was more of a question than an answer.

" _Three days?!_ Korra, you need to go straight to bed _right now_." The airbending master pushed on her back lightly. She jerked away from his touch, facing him.

"No! I - I can't." She said quietly, looking down at the floor.

Mako wanted to read her. He wanted to help her in any way he could, but she shut him out. He was a complete loss.

Mako leaned down to her height, forcing her head up by putting his finger on her chin and giving it a light push. He didn't see tears in her eyes, but he saw something timid and dark dulling down the sassy blue Irises.

"Why? Why can't you?" It wasn't demanding, and it wasn't manipulative. His voice was quiet, but it leaked of emotion.

She shook her head, returning her gaze back to the floor.

Mako drooped his shoulders with failure.

He turned back to Tenzin, "Don't worry. I'll take care of it." The airbending master looked to his pseudo-daughter with concern, before looking back at the firebender and nodding.

He went back to the table while Mako lightly guided Korra to the dormitories.

"Daddy? What's wrong with Korra?" Jinora asked him the question.

His face softened as he looked at his eldest daughter's worried face. She really shouldn't be seeing this. Korra was a heavy influence on Jinora; Jinora looked up to Korra, who was another female role model in her life, besides her mother of course.

He gave her a sad smile, "Nothing, sweetheart." He said it not because it was true, but rather he _needed_ it to be true.

"Daddy, she's _thin._ " Jinora said, her face hardening.

Tenzin sighed. His daughter was smart, witty, and picked up on the small details with amazed quickness. He knew better than to lie to her.

"I know."

.

Mako was able to guide Korra with ease as he led them back to her bedroom.

Checkpoint number one was reached as they passed the threshold of the door. However, he was met with resistance as she stopped walking abruptly.

Mako gently pulled her harder, but soon heard a sound muffled in her throat that sounded of resistance and a little bit of scared concern.

He turned around to her, and her timid eyes bored down into him.

This kind of Korra didn't suit her. She didn't fit well in the emotions that didn't include being brave and cocky. He didn't like this type of Korra. One that jumped with fright whenever a loud sound suddenly boomed, or one who woke up screaming from a nightmare.

"It's okay." He reassured her, and he tried once more and gently pulled her along. She obliged, moving her feet with him.

He lay down on the bed first, scooting over on the bed and patting the empty spot next to him. She fulfilled his wishes, laying down on the bed next to him. He put his arm around her, and she was reassured he wouldn't leave her while she slept.

Mako didn't understand any of it. Why was this happening? What was the reason? How could he fix it? _Could_ he even fix it?

Mako was overwhelmed with the questions he was burying himself in, and instead put his nose up to Korra's hair, smelling the scent of cucumber that helped rock him back into a sleep.

.

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 _ **A/N;**_ … _OH MY SPIRITS THIS IS SO LONG. IF YOU HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR, I SERIOUSLY APPLAUD YOU._

 _These chapters seem to be getting longer each one, only a matter of time before my thumbs fall off from typing soooooo much._

 _BUT SERIOUSLY, 9000 WORDS? 22 PAGES? BACK IT UP ME, JUST BACK IT UP._

Anyways; _I hope you enjoyed! Leave a review, no matter how good or hateful it may be._

" _Makorra drama is the best drama." ~Me_

 _List of songs that inspired me while writing and helped me get through this chapter;_

 _(1); "King and Lionheart", by Of Monsters and Men. (I am pretty sure I have made it clear by now I absolutely love this song. If you don't get it, check out my other stories *wink wink*)._

 _(2); "In The End", Linkin Park cinematic cover by Tommee Profitt, feat. Jung Youth and Fleurie._

 _(3); "Something just like this", Coldplay and the Chainsmokers cover by Madilyn Bailey_

 _(Yes, I REALLY love the covers of songs)!_


	9. The Rumor

_Left foot behind the other…_

 _Right foot goes forward…_

 _Easy now, easy now…_

Korra lost her balance, like the previous twenty-two times.

 _What is up with me?!_

She growled as she sat where she had landed, her legs sprawled out in different directions. The ends of her lips tugged up into a smirk when she remembered fondly of a time where her mother told her sitting like that was _not lady-like_. Eventually, the woman gave up telling her how to follow the basic rules of manners when it came to being a lady. Korra didn't care to follow the rules; _she made the rules._

She thought of how if her mother was here at this very moment, she would rather offer her daughter a disapproving frown at how exposing Korra was.

Spirits, she really did miss her mother…

She moved to get off from her spot on the ground, but her shaky legs had given out before she had fully acquired balance, and she fell right back down again.

Korra huffed at this, and she forced herself up one more time. She could feel her legs quivering.

She could suddenly feel her stomach quench with hunger, punishing her for not eating a meal yet today. It gave several angry contractions, before it settled once again.

Korra ignored her body's cries of hunger, and instead repeated the airbending motion she had been practicing. Although in the very beginning things like this were hard and agitated the teenager, she became accustomed to it. And now, after several months of training, and having her airbending unlocked, this should be second-hand nature to her.

She got in a stance, circling around before she tried it again.

 _Left foot…_ _ **Left foot**_ _behind the other._

 _Right foot…_ _ **Right foot**_ _goes forward._

 _Easy now, easy now_ …

' _Let us eat, Avatar…'_

She stumbled over her own feet again, losing her balance and sending her crashing down into the asphalt.

 _Twenty-third time._

"Agh!" She yelled, slamming her fists on the warmed ground.

"You're improving" A voice behind her remarked. It was one that rang of wisdom and encouragement.

"If you call tripping over nothing _improving_ , I would have been done with mastering Airbending by this time, considering how many times I've failed." Korra negatively remarked, twisting her body to face Tenzin.

"You have not failed." He offered, sitting down on the steps gracefully.

Korra noticed a hair that had not been tucked back waving in front of her eyes, tickling her nose with each gust of wind. She blew it out of her face, scrunching up her nose.

"How about you take a break." Tenzin offered. She shrugged in response, and got up in a way that did not show of grace.

His eyebrows furrowed with worry as he looked at the young woman struggling to stand up. He took a mental note of _how much_ her legs were shaking with weakness, even behind the baggy blue pants she wore, anybody could tell she could barely hold her own body weight up.

He noticed that she was missing her usual armbands. He then realized, even in the elasticity they had, they would not constrict enough to stay on Korra's arms, considering how _thin they are_.

 _An eating disorder, in itself, is the manifestation of the mind. The more you do, the more your brain rewards you for the actions. The more you fail to meet up to your own cruel expectations, the more your brain will berate you for hours on end with self-hatred._

 _ **Die, bitch.**_

 _ **Don't you think if you were meant to be here, you would know how to properly feed yourself?**_

 _ **How could the world miss someone that can be replaced within mere seconds?**_

 _This cycle will repeat endlessly; you meet your goal for the day. Not good enough. You go to indulge in pleasure foods that fill your heart up with warm comfort. It weighs you down with greedy and evil intent._

 _The guilt of indulging_ _ **eats**_ _at you. You give in to the voice that is talking to you inside of your head. You go to the bathroom, and find something long enough to shove in the back of your throat until your eyes start watering, and the gagging slowly transitions over into horrible sounds of you choking on your own puke. You throw up the burden in the toilet, transitioning the responsibility of holding a dead-weight over._

 _Now, don't you feel better?_

"You have come a long way in your training. It is expected to slip-up sometimes." Tenzin said as Korra sat down next to him on the step.

She didn't respond, rather she was looking down at her wrist for some odd reason. He looked to see what she had focused her attention on, and was slightly horrified and disgusted to see her press her thumb continuously on a vein that was popping out of her arm. She constricted it for a while until the tips of her fingers get tingly, then let go, allowing the blood to run through it once again.

"Have you eaten breakfast yet?" Tenzin asked. He really couldn't help it. Seeing her so _thin, so malnourished_ drove him to ask the question.

"Not yet, no." She admitted, still playing with the vein.

"Then let's go eat." He said, standing up and beckoning the young Avatar to come with him.

As much as she didn't want to do it, she knew she had to. Especially with his pressing like this to get her to come to a meal. It wasn't the number of meals Korra had attended to; she was at every meal. Rather, it was how she was attending all of these meals, and looking so unhealthily skinny.

The pair walked into the kitchens, only to see everyone already chirping away at the table about how _delicious_ the food was that Pema had made.

She sat down next to her boyfriend, who was already seated at the table. Despite how much he had helped in nurturing her into sleep, she _really_ didn't want to look at him right now, and honestly she didn't feel like being around him at the moment.

She wouldn't admit she was scared of looking at his face again. Rather, she convinced herself it was _for him_. So he didn't have to see the fear that replayed in her eyes; like a film, all the way back when she had first encountered Amon on Avatar Aang memorial island.

She didn't, most of all, want to let him see that she feared a lot more than what appeared at the surface. The fear was deep-rooted; the seed of it buried deep within Korra's mind, and it began to flourish in an oddly sick and twisted way.

 _The flowers have yet to bloom._

Korra scanned the options in front of her. It was quite a fabulous and decorative meal, really. She was familiar with most of the things that had scattered across the table. Things that were foreign to her were _dangerous. Stay away. You don't know what's in it… You don't know how many calories reside within. Don't. Eat. It._

 _ **Stay away**_ _._

She carefully considered what to put on her plate. She was in the middle of debating over a certain sweet roll when she had looked up to find everyone staring at her.

She sighed, setting down the roll on her plate from pressure. "Is there any _damn_ particular reason _everyone_ is so interested in what I am eating?"

"Language, Korra." Pema warned.

Korra sighed discontentedly once again before she ripped apart the roll. She nibbled on parts of it, and with every miniscule bite she could see the eyes of those around her relax.

Mako could tell how uncomfortable she was with all the pairs of eyes on her. He unnoticeably snaked his hand over to her, and he found what he thought was her thigh, and gave her a squeeze to pull through.

She rejected his touch, shifting away from him.

 _I don't need his pity._

 _._

 _._

 _._

" _What if I'm so broken I can never do something as basic as feed myself? Do you realize how twisted that is? It amazes me sometimes that humans still exist. We're just animals, after all. And how can an animal get so removed from nature that it loses the instinct to keep itself alive?"_

"Have you talked to Korra yet…?" Asami asked one day, while the trio were sitting outside under the gazebo.

They have been watching for a while - _hours,_ in fact, as Korra did her airbending moves over _and overandoverandover._

Mako could almost swear she kept muttering something about _right_ and _left_ from time to time.

Not peeling his eyes away from his girlfriend, he sighed, "No. It's just… hard. To bring this sort of subject up, y'know? I don't know… I don't know anything…"

Asami shook her head with discontent, "You will need to sometime. If you can't do it, I will." Asami offered. The deal she was offering was quite generous, but her voice was as icy as the raging waters back at the South pole.

"No!" Mako almost half-yelled. He cringed when Asami turned to him with confusion.

He cough and stuttered out a sentence, "I - I uhm, don't need you - you to do that, really. I will bring it up…" His voice trailed off.

 _But when?_

They all say back I'm silence for awhile, but the questions was tugging at the ends of his mind.

"How do you know so much about this?" Mako asked, looking over to the left of him where Asami was standing, her arms leaning against the banister, her hands leaning over.

She twisted her neck to look over at her former boyfriend, "What?"

"Korra and her… Problem. I mean, you were the one who figured it out first, and then when Bolin told you about her… _little session_ back at the gym, you guessed right. And now, you're offering to talk to her about it… Why…?" Mako avoided saying _the word._ Rather, it was two words, but that was even more so of a reason to not let the words slide off of his tongue.

Asami sighed, turning back to look at the Avatar-in-training. "I have dealt with things like this before."

She noticed she needed to clarify, because once a few seconds went by and no one said a word, she turned to see the awe-stricken faces of her friends.

She shook her head, her raven-black hair rippled with shine from the sun, "Not in the way you're thinking of. My mother-"

She was suddenly interrupted by the airbending master, whom just walked up the steps.

"I am sorry, did I interrupt anything?" He asked generously.

Mako was about to defend that Asami was talking, when she answered for him, "Not at all." She put on a smile for the older man, and he returned it.

She couldn't finish the story, not here… and not now.

"Would you three mind coming with me for a moment?" The airbender asked. The three nodded with promise, following him away from Korra, whose stance had gotten sloppier, and her legs began to shake more.

Once they had gotten a considerable distance away from the weak avatar, Tenzin turned around to the trio. For once, they had all noticed he couldn't exactly find the appropriate words at the moment. His mouth opened and closed, and moved strangely; though no words were coming out. A plan of what he was trying to ask was brewing in his mind.

"I am assuming that the three of you have picked up on Korra's… weight loss."

 _Anybody could see it from a mile away._

"Yeah." Mako was the first to respond, looking away from the airbending master and shoving his hands in the pockets of his coat.

"I was just wondering if any of you knew something about it. Korra would be more inclined to go to her peers rather than myself." He said.

Simultaneously, all of their eyes shifted _anywhere_ but on _him._

 _They know something._

"Well…" He could hear his brothers voice trail off…

Oh no, Bolin couldn't be the one to deliver something as heavy as this… _Out of everyone here…_

Asami quickly spoke up, "Korra's been making herself throw her food up." She blurted it out quickly.

Mako cringed at her words and shut his eyes hard, his body flinching as if her words just smacked him in the face.

He heard an audible gasp, and when he looked up, he found the unfamiliar face of a surprised Tenzin. He had never seen him shocked before, and his gentle and calm nature had quickly been kicked to the curb.

"What?!" He asked, looking at the heiress.

She almost shrunk as he towered over her. He didn't mean to intimidate the young woman- his shock was taking control and he was eager to know if she was telling the truth.

"Well, at least we think. We really don't know for sure. The only evidence we have is that Bolin saw her throwing up… and her fingers were down her throat…" Her voice, though speaking venom, was quiet and calm.

"When?" Tenzin's voice asked shakily.

"Uhm… Ask Bolin. He knows the whole story." Asami answered, bobbing her head to the left of her where her earthbending friend was.

Bolin began to awkwardly scratch his neck as he retold the story he had already spoken of to Asami.

Mako's ears perked up at the new information as Bolin retold the story. Asami and Bolin told him the theory they had formed together, and that Bolin had found Korra making herself throw up. They never told him _how_ or _when_ he found her.

"Seriously," Mako said as he turned to the right of him where his brother stood, "you found her that day? I was _right_ there, Bolin. You could've got me, or told me. You didn't have to wait a few weeks!"

"She made me promise, Mako! She told me not to say a word to you! I didn't have a choice then, okay? So don't blame it on me, because I did what I thought was right!" Bolin said back at him, brows furrowed. Mako was slightly surprised by his little brothers brashness, though his face was void of emotion and didn't dare expose that he was caught off-guard.

"Spirits can only help me when she finds out that you know. I'm a dead man." Bolin said, his voice completely empty of his usual humor. He was probably right, he would be burnt to a crisp when Korra finds out.

"Have any of you spoken to Korra directly about her… issue?" Tenzin asked, his eyes gleaming of hope.

Mako's mind began to go numb from how moronic this man was.

Sure, he was definitely much older and wiser than Mako. He had the book smarts, meanwhile Mako had the streets smarts. From an outsiders point of view, book smarts would be the superior type of intelligence.

But this man really had no idea about teenagers and their tendency to keep their problems away from judgemental superiors.

 _He had no idea about_ _ **who**_ _Korra was._

And this was only the beginning of what slightly ticked Mako off about the master. He was part of the council; surely a very powerful beacon of the city. Obviously; considering that this city was a Republic, taking after its name; that the power was held in the hands of the people, just represented through the political representatives. And yet, with all that power, he had never helped build a single law to help protect kids like Bolin and Mako.

No child labor laws had been set in place like almost every other city around them. No child protection services. Nothing.

He had not even lifted a finger to help to protect these orphaned kids abandoned on the street.

It also helped him build a hatred to the whole council in general, and the political rulers of this city. Surely, if anyone cared about the wellbeing of the citizens in this city, it definitely wasn't them.

He knew his anger was fueled by pettiness and built up anger, but he really couldn't help it. A lot of Mako's and Bolin's suffering could've been avoided if this man had helped to set laws in place to protect these kids.

However, this didn't waver the respect he gave the man, and to his house. Mako was taught from a very young age you respect the man- or the woman of the house. Most definitely a rule that had been ingrained in his head by his father.

"No, not really. We were hoping for Mako to possibly bring it up to her, but that has yet to be done." Asami said, shaking her head.

Mako could tell by the man's body language that he was about to become unhinged; and Mako could only imagine that's what he looked like when he was first told of Korra's… problem.

"I just-" Tenzin's voice quickly cut off, and he shook his head. He then returned to them with a sad smile on his face, "Thank you for telling me." He said to Asami.

She nodded, but never offered back a smile.

Mako had been thinking about it ever since this morning.

He wanted some badly to know that they were not being led on. He wanted to fully know the situation, because every other time he had.

And most of all, he wanted to help Korra through this. He may have admitted his love to Korra all the way back in the South pole- but it wasn't enough. There was no amount of words that he could say that would explain how deep he cares for her, and how deep his affection for her goes.

He truly did love Korra. And he had a feeling she didn't know the extent.

It was a war within himself all day long. At first in the morning it was an immediate no. Then, it slowly shifted into a yes. Then back to a no, which spiraled back into a determined yes.

And now, as dinner was about to be finished up, and Korra had eaten most of her meal, he was back on no again.

He realised he needed to hastily make a decision as everyone began to make a detour from the dining table; even Korra.

He got up with her. He was going to do it. This was it. This was going to be the answer to his question.

He stayed behind her in the shadows as she made her way up to her bedroom, and she immediately was attracted to the bathroom. She shut the door quietly, locking it for good measure.

He walked as quietly to the door as he could, pressing his ear to it. He didn't hear anything for a few seconds, then came awful sounds of someone gagging on something. He stood there for a few more minutes, until he finally heard the sounds he was looking for to confirm.

He knocked on the door loudly, calling for her name once.

All sound deceased, and he knocked on the door louder.

"Korra… Let me in." He commanded.

He was surprised when a voice peeped out from behind the door, "No, Mako. I am fine, really."

"I didn't ask that. Let me in."

"Mako, I am going to the bathroom."

"No, you're not. I swear, let me in or I'm burning this door down."

She stubbornly refused to answer his command, and she stayed silent.

Although Mako didn't follow through on his promise to burn the door down, considering that would probably light the whole building on fire, he did give a kick with enough momentum to send the door flying off its hinges.

And when he looked down, he saw a girl. A woman, in which he loved, covered in puke and exhaustedly draping her head over the toilet.

.

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 _VERY fast-paced chapter, I apologize for that._

 _Hmmmm, a cliff-hanger. I love to torture you immensely. *Evil laughter*._

 _Reviews would be appreciated. :)_


	10. The Truth

At first, he just stood there.

His eyes were wide and moving back and forth across the scene presented to him, but it felt as if his whole body had been frozen. It sure did feel like it too, as cold prickles of numbness jabbed at the ends of his toes and fingertips.

Korra looked up at him wide-eyed, holding up her hands as to not touch anything with all the throw up that was covering them. Her mouth was slightly ajar in horror at what he just caught her doing.

Time is infinite, and this situation they were stuck in certainly felt like time would never end.

They stared at each other with shock for what seemed like hours.

Mako licked his lips, finding it hard to speak when it felt like his throat was closing in on him, and feeling as if he hadn't drank water in days.

"Wh-what?" Is all his brain could rack up. No amount of being told of Korra's condition could actually prepare him for this. It was much more different seeing it actually take place then being told a little story.

Korra just kept staring at him, and it was the first time he had ever seen Korra stay still in a situation. She was more about the actions, take it easy on the words. But now, it was finally something that left her in silence.

"Why?" Mako blurted out the question.

Mako didn't receive an answer. Instead, Korra turned back to the toilet suddenly, throwing up the rest of her food. Mako walked in - or rather barged in right in the middle of everything, and she couldn't calm the upset contractions that she forced upon herself as her body pushed the rest of the food out.

Mako didn't move at first; too many thoughts were swirling and raging around in his mind. However, soon enough he knelt down next to Korra, pushing away some lose hairs that were dangerously close to her mouth.

Even though he was comforting her, everything about this made him feel unsettled.

Soon enough, he saw that she was finished, and she pushed the toilet lid down, flushing the toilet and laying her head down to cool herself.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked quietly after a short while.

"Tell you what?" She asked innocently, keeping up her sick façade.

"Why didn't you tell me this sort of thing was happening?" He decided to play along, but definitely not for long.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I just have a flu or something, that's all." She said, rolling her eyes.

"Dammit Korra, stop lying to me!" His palms began to heat.

He saw the hate behind to seep into her eyes, "I'm not lying about anything! You're the one who is making this a bigger deal than it should be!"

"Because I know this has been happening for awhile now!" Mako said, not taking in consideration he was about to drag Bolin through the mud.

She narrowed her resentful eyes, "What are you talking about?"

"Bolin said he saw your throwing up a few weeks ago." Mako admitted.

"What? He told? He promised he wouldn't tell! Why, that little son-of-a-" Korra lunged after towards the exit of the bathroom, getting ready to give somebody a well deserved black eye.

Mako swiftly jumped in front of her, grabbing her waist as she tried to fight past him.

"Korra, you don't understand!" He exclaimed as Korra kicked her legs around to get him to free her. One of her flailing arms managed to knock him in the face, and he temporarily let her go.

"I swear, when I find him, he's dead. He's dead!" She gritted her teeth as she sped walked to the door that separated her room from the long corridor.

She felt a firm grasp on her wrist, and she didn't need to turn her head to know who it was. After several attempts of pulling painfully, she growled in frustration.

"Let me go." She spat at him, finally turning her head around. She was slightly caught off guard as she was met with caring and concerned eyes, rather than angry ones she saw just minutes beforehand. She kept her expression the same however, not allowing his pity to affect her in any way.

"Bolin _didn't_ tell me. He told Asami, and Asami told me."

"That doesn't change anything. He still told." Korra hissed back in response.

"If nothing is wrong, and it's 'just a flu', then why would you care if Bolin told?" Mako asked.

This left Korra stumped, which made her anger spike even further so.

"Seriously, let go."

"Look, I will. But you can go and kick Bolin's ass later. Can we just talk?" He offered, hope glimmering in his voice.

Instead of an audible response, Korra jerked her wrist away from him, crossing her arms and giving him an angry look.

"What do you want, Mako." It wasn't a question, but he treated it as such.

"I want you to tell me why this has been happening." He said, taking a short step towards her.

"Nothing has been happening." She said defiantly.

"Korra." He sighed discontentedly.

"Remember a while ago, when I told you that you can tell me anything?" He asked, and he encouraged her to look up to him as he put his forefinger under her chin and gave a light push.

She looked up at him, and he saw the slightest bit of vulnerability. "Yeah…"

"Well, I meant it. No matter what you say, I'll always be here for you. I love you, Korra."

"I love you too." She admitted.

Mako's heart was quickly warmed by her words, but he didn't allow them to completely block his senses.

"So, please tell me." He begged, slipping his hand into hers.

She sighed, looking down at their joined hands.

"I, well… Haven't exactly been mixing well with food… Lately?"

"Mhm." Mako hummed gently, pushing her on.

"And I...I…" She stuttered, and finally the dam inside of her broke.

"And I can't stop it. I can't stop it, Mako! It's the same every. Single. Day. I wake up, I think about avoiding food. I think about it all day, and then when I am forced to eat food, all I can think of is getting rid of it. I can't stop it Mako! I can't!" She cried out, and he saw the tears gathering as salty crystals in her eyes and making their path down her flushed and swollen cheeks.

She sagged down to the ground, her legs giving out. Mako slowed down her fall by swiftly grabbing her and lowering down with her. He stayed in silence as she stuffed her face into his scarf, allowing the tears to flow freely from all the built up frustration and hurt she had been enduring these recent months. His scarf soaked up the silvery liquid, and after several minutes, Korra's cries turned into upset hiccups.

"I don't know what to do…" She whispered.

"You have a problem, Korra." Mako said. It wasn't demanding, rather it was just a statement that he was desperately trying to get through her head.

She tried to bury her face into him even further, but he gently pried her face away from the safe haven of his chest, and held her head between his hands.

"I want to hear you say it." He said softly.

Korra's eyes went large, "What?"

"I want you to say it." He repeated.

He saw Korra's brows furrow, and her nose scrunched up as she was so close to starting a whole new crying session again.

"No… Please don't make me." She begged him, still trying to desperately reject the truth.

"Korra…" His voice trailer off.

"I don't want to…" She said.

"You _need_ to." He responded.

She let out a sickly cough, taking several deep breaths to try and calm herself down. However, that didn't stop the new batch of tears that gathered in the tips of her eyes.

She let her head sag, and then said the words, almost inaudible.

"I have a... problem…"

He then forced her to look back up at him gently, watery blue orbs meeting stunning gold.

"Then let's find the solution."

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 _ **A/N:**_ _Well, well, well. Thisssss looks like the very last chapter. (Well, this is all I wrote). I actually had a whole sequel to this planned out, but due to the lack of support for this story, I might very well create an epilogue and mark that as the official ending. Let me know your thoughts please!_

 _(No, I DEFINITELY did NOT forget any of you who reviewed. Thank you all so much, your reviews meant a lot, and I got a smile on my face from every one of them!)_

 _Review response to an anonymous review; "Mate, this was amazing! At first I was put off by the angst in the first chapters. Heck, I didn't know people suffer with this. But I soldiered through those chapters, squirming and shouting in frustration, and I wasn't disappointed with the final destination. The last few chapters are well written and have really good drama. This is so good I feel like I'm watching actual episodes. Please continue! P.S. that cliffhanger though!"_

 _^ Haha you don't know how happy I was to wake up and find that review. It literally made the rest of my day. I'm pretty sure I woke up and read it only a few minutes after you posted it, and I wanted so badly to respond, you don't even know. I decided this was the best way. Yeppp, the angst in the first few chapters are heavy, and you could probably tell only a chemically-imbalanced teenage brain could come up with a story so depressing._

 _I'm glad I brought the attention of eating disorders to you! I don't personally suffer from anything like this, but I am familiar with people who do suffer. I'm super happy you made it through all the depressing chapters, and had actually been happy with the outcome! I dearly hope you will be just as pleased with where we are now at our pitstop. I'm glad my writing can stand off the paper, (or screen), and make it feel like an actual episode! That encourages me so much, and I really do thank you for your constructive, yet amazing review!_

 _CrazyPhenom; "Heh, looks like its intervention time. Along with whole lotta denial and yelling."_

 _^ Indeed, it very much is! Hope I created whatever you had in your head. I may or may have not succeeded at making the ending dramatic / loving / good. Perhaps? You're always a consistent reviewer on my stories, so I know you are very well acquainted with my writing style. Your reviews mean a lot to me, especially since you are consistent. Thank you!_

 _The main idea of this story revolves around a 'game'. I got this idea from reading several real-life stories where instead of facing the truth, people turn it into a starving "game" to make it much less twisted than it actually is. Y'all actually don't know how much time I spent into studying these eating disorders pinpointed here, and my whole obsession with how the human anatomy and brain work just caused my interest to flourish. I didn't need to study on Dermatillomania however, as I personally suffer from this disorder in real life, and what Korra does in this story that has to do with her whole gross scalp ordeal is actually what my experiences are and what I got through everyday. Hmm, maybe I am getting too deep into this._

 _Thank you to everyone who has stuck by this story! #MaKorraForever._

" _Makorra drama is the best drama" ~Me_

 _Song I listened to on repeat while writing this chapter; "Crystals" By: Of Monsters and Men._

 _Did you read this story because you can relate? Please call this international eating disorder line to get immediate help._

 _1-800-931-2237._

 _Remember, somebody is always there to listen._


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